Lost

Chapter 35

I have no idea what to tell Joss about the blood on the flannel when she comes in and rushes into the bathroom. I do not know where she had been and I clearly have no clue what to tell her about the things in the bathroom, because he told me to stay quiet about what we did and I am a very bad liar. I do not know what she will think and I am afraid of her finding out what happened so that Harry could get to know that she knows what happened and.. this is a disaster. To me, nothing worse could have happened than Joss coming back and running into the bathroom. I had no time to put the flannel into the bin or something, I actually forgot about that thing since Harry distracted me by threatening me once again. How should I have known Joss would throw open the front door and then run through the flat to lock herself in the bathroom? I do not even know what she is doing in there for the last twenty minutes now. Apart from me still wondering where she had been anyway.

I sit on the chair in the kitchen and burry my face in my hands. I do not know what to do.

Finally she opens the door, the flannel between her fingertips to not touch the blood. “What.. is that, Ley? Are you bleeding?”

I swallow. “Uhm.. I.. You know..”

She waits for me to say something but I can not. Then I close my eyes and look at my hands.

“You don’t want me to know it or what?” she asks me and I shake my head no. “What is it then? Do you have your period and needed to clean yourself?”

“Does it look like I used the flannel for that?” I ask her and she shakes her head no.

“But what happened?” Joss now starts to worry. “Please tell me.”

I do not know how to lie, nevertheless I do try it to not have to tell her about Harry. “I cut my leg, my thigh. Not on purpose.”

She breathes in deeply. “Oh god, are you ok? You should let me have a look.”

I immediately shake my head no. “No, no. It is ok, actually. Do not worry about that.”

“Please, I wanna have a look. I don’t want that to get worse” she says “that’s a lot of blood here to be honest and I’m worried.”

I shake my head no again. “No, Joss. Please. I do not want to.. you know.. put my panties down.”

Joss presses her lips together into a thin line. “Oh..”

I nod. “Yes, oh.”

I beg she believes me and when she nods and turn around to get back into the bathroom, I can not believe I lied. I feel horrible, I feel really terrible and as if I murdered someone. I do not like to do that much but I had to and now I feel atrocious for doing it. Wonderful, how Harry always gets me into trouble and makes me feel cruel. He can do it without even being with me, wow.

I would say he does a great job getting me into trouble.

When Joanna comes back we eat something together without talking. And when I am finished I look at her and clear my throat.

“Hey uhm.. where have you been?” I ask and she looks at me.

“At Josh’s.” Joss shrugs. “You know, me and him are really close still and we just wanted to hang out for a bit.”

“Oh, cool” I mumble and stand to my feet to put my dishes away.

“Hey would you.. you know.. like to do something with me and Josh?”

Memorize with Josh are not the brightest and I worry about meeting him. But I am sure he would not do that when Joss is with me so I turn to her, look closely at her and nod.