This Is Me (Cover Girlfriend, Book Three)

Episode Twenty-Four

Lincoln

Carlos wears his disappointment without any of that poker player charisma I’ve seen him use.  His face reveals every hurt that he feels, regardless of our kisses before in the bedroom; touches I can’t wait to get back to.

Though why he feels this way?  I have no idea.  And I’m done fucking guessing at everyone else’s fucked up emotions tonight; have my own guilt to contend with.

We eat our meal in silence; his more heavy than my own. I feel it weighing me down with each mouthful I ingest until I can’t take it any more, and drop my spoon next to my half-full bowl.

“Lovers,” breaks the silence, “what’s wrong?”

He takes a bite; most likely to avoid answering, because he takes another.

Then, “Would you rather.”  He lays his spoon down; slays me with the pain in his normally warm eyes, “Should I go?  If Terri’s who you wa-”

I know where this is going, and rise to my feet; cross the distance, and take his lips with mine to shut him the fuck up.

Fucking Carlos; love of my life.  Stupid, beautiful, brilliant idiot that he is.

So fucking sexy when he reveals his vulnerability.

I love those soft moans that float around us; the way his arms wrap around my waist and tug me close.  I can’t believe this man is mine; afraid I’d lost him.  I’m unwilling to let him go a second time, despite that he seems to not understand that.

The lengths I’m willing to go.

Pulling back - one last, chaste taste of his lips - I gaze down into his lusty, yet uncertain gaze.

“I love you,” the only thing I can think to say; continue when I notice it soften his face, and relax his shoulders, “From the day I met you, I started falling.  I’ve missed you all week, and I can’t wait to sleep next to you tonight; wake up with you beside me in the morning.  We’ll figure this out.  Because I’m not ever letting you go; no more running.  Don’t you know that?”

By the time I’m finished, I can’t help but notice the tears that streak down his cheeks.  The way he drops his head against my stomach as he weeps; clings to me.

“Now,” I attempt to lighten the mood by forcing my voice to be more jovial, though what I say is anything but a joke, “We’re not going to have sex tonight - or any other - until you get yourself a ball gag.”  I continue even as he pulls back to look at me; pure shock overcomes all other emotions, “As much as I love hearing you?  Terri won’t.  And we have to respect that.”

My lips tilt in a smile.

“We both know you can’t keep quiet even if my life depended on it.”

I’m rewarded when I see his cheeks darken slightly; his eyes pull away in embarrassment.

My Carlos rarely blushes, but he’s fucking sexy when he does.

I place my hand behind his neck; tilt his willing face towards mine.  Lean in to his ear and whisper, “But as long as you kiss me, there’s no reason we can’t take a shower before bed.”

There’s no need to see the lust in his eyes to know he’s with me.

I command him to finish eating; clean my own bowl.  I instruct him to help me do the dishes; drying because the naive boy scout burned his fucking fingertips.  I watch as his desire grows beneath the silk of his suit pants; finally allow myself to have him.