This Is Me (Cover Girlfriend, Book Three)

Episode Twenty-Nine

Terri

Just because he won't remember, doesn't make it any less difficult for me.

And I'm not surprised when Carlos abandons me to see to the conflict between Lincoln and Dick playing out in the living area. Especially when I just shook my head at his questions; unwilling to answer.

It was only the one time.

Dressed in drag; lights low. And he was so very drunk. I know he doesn't remember, but now that I've seen him, I can't forget the taste of his mouth; the murmur of his voice as I...

I hiccup against a sob, even as I fight to get control of my emotions; my memories.

No one needs to know he's the reason I left. That one night with him wrecked me ever after for any hope with Lincoln. How I couldn't take the guilt; had to flee the moment I saw that stupid ring.

At this point, I don't think it matters.

I laugh to myself.

Guess I still haven't learned that being attracted to Lincoln's friends never ends well for me.

Standing, I ignore them as I make my way quietly to the bathroom; close the door behind me and move until I'm standing before the mirror, palms gripping the edge of the sink.

I look a fucking mess.

Tears have streaked black lines down my cheeks; eyes now rimmed in puffy clouds of pink. Cheeks both flushed, and pale; splotchy with color.

Sniffling, I turn on the faucet and cup water in my hands that I use to scrub my face clean. Once. Twice. Again.

Lifting my gaze, I see my features free of the cosmetics; reach behind me for the towel hanging on the rod. Pull it close and use it to dry myself.

I drift out of the bathroom in time to catch Dick say with conviction, "I'm sure I can deal with a bit of pressure from the man. There isn't anything I have to hide."

Lincoln's soft laugh before he admits, "I thought the same. But just wait. He'll find out the one thing to destroy you, and then it's over and you'll be on a flight to Florence."

"Florence?" Dick's voice full of curiosity.

I wonder how much he'll admit when Carlos' lyrical vocals spill, "Because Mr. Rickerts isn't allowed there - anywhere in Italy, really. The Marchetti's and he have an understanding that neither treks the others boundaries anymore. If I had gone to you, I'd have been killed. Hell, I thought my father sent you there to be killed."

And my thoughts are revealed in Lincoln's quiet, "What?" Despite that both of us had heard something similar from Aliya months ago; joked about how she couldn't possibly be serious.

So far, no one has caught me lurking in the shadows of the hall, but I can't look away as Carlos cups Lincoln's beard-covered cheeks and confesses with so much pain it lingers, "Lovers. When you never came home, and Ali couldn't find you, I thought you were sent to your death. That's why I proposed. I knew if nothing else, that would draw you out; perhaps convince Mr. Rickerts to call off," his breath catches and I notice a flicker of light against his cheek; tears, "But you never came home."

"Holy shit," from Dick, near silent from my faraway space in the shadows.

"You thought I was dead? She wasn't lying?"

"What was I supposed to think? When Jonathon said... God." He leans forward and presses a kiss to my ex's lips, "I hated you both, but was glad you weren't murdered for no reason other than that I couldn't stay away."