Dr Lindstrom had given me a task. It was to write about what I was scared of. After vomiting in my introductory session, I was not looking forward to this..
I had heard Mom and Dad talking about me..
The other night...
'Elliot. He's barely eating. He's not even communicating. With me or you. Ariel and Paige are worried about him. He vomited in his first therapy session 'He needs time. Liv, he's got to that stage of being a teenager where he wants to keep some things to himself. We need to at least trust him.' I felt terrible. Thoughts were just swirling around in my head. Going into the toilet, I just cried.. letting tears run down my cheeks. Now Mom and Dad were bickering because of me. I clasped my hands.. 'Go away.. go away..' I could hear Tommy's voice in my head.. it was distressing. 'Stop! STOP!' I found myself having a good cry. Sitting against the bathroom door, I took some deep breaths.. 'Caleb.. are you okay?' Ariel was so caring. Saying no, she asked me if I could open the bathroom door. 'We don't have to talk. We can just sit in a comfortable silence.' I loved my sisters.
Slowly opening the door, she asked if I wanted a hug.
Writing, I thought about what I was scared of..
I'm scared of not being enough. I am scared of hiding behind my panic attacks, my anger. And i'm frightened of not being liked..
Leaving the piece of paper on my table, I headed downstairs. 'Hey bud. Do you wanna watch some tv?' Dad asked as I sat down. 'I don't mind.' He then hugged me. 'I know that you're going through a lot right now, but your Mom and I are doing our best to look for a new school. You're going to be okay.' As we found something to watch on tv, we heard Paige. 'Okay.. when are planning to practice some cheer moves? We have another session with Mel soon. Okay. Cool. I'll ask Mom then i'll text you.' Then she stood near the door. 'Hey.' Mom smiled. 'Heyy.' Paige was happy. 'Hey baby girl.' Mom asked if we wanted drinks. 'Yes please. Where's Ariel?' Dad said that she was at her therapy session. 'She's gone on her own for the first time which is good.' Dad said it was progress. As we watched some basketball, Mom asked Paige about her little phone call.
"Cece wanted to catch up. She asked if I could hang out next week." I heard Mom say that was fine. "I think Paige likes someone Dad.." Dad laughed.. "No I don't baby bro! You two honestly!" Both of us laughed. Me and Dad then continued to watch the basketball. "Ahhh awesome!" Dad then smiled at me. "I'm going to get some snacks. Would you boys like something?' We were too engrossed in the game to notice.. "Erm, I'll have an apple please Mom." It was nice just relaxing. It was fun. Paige then sat next to me. "I'm glad that you're okay." She hugged me. "You're so kind Paige." She thanked me. Mom then gave me my drink.
"Thanks." She kissed my cheek. "That's okay baby boy." As she went upstairs, Dad said that he was pleased that I felt calm. "Watching this basketball game has taken my mind off how I'm feeling." Dad placed his arm around me. "So, where are you getting on with school Paige? How are lessons and stuff baby?" Mom looked at Paige.
"Urm, It has been difficult." Dad then asked if I needed some extra help. She then went to the bathroom. 'Sweetheart!' I heard the door slam upstairs. Hearing the front door, Ariel then called out. "Hey.." Mom then asked me to check on Paige. "Hi Ari. How was your session?" As she sat down, I smiled at her.
(Ariel's P.O.V)
Sitting down, Dad hugged me. "So honey, how was it?" I was honest. "For my first solo session, it was hard. Clare and me spoke about my nightmares and my medication." I felt a bit weird.. "I have been thinking more about what happened to me.." Mom then squeezed my hand. "I'm just scared. I told Clare that my sleeping pattern has been up and down as well. What if something happens?" Dad could tell that I was starting to panic.. "Listen to my voice Ariel. You are safe. You are okay." As my breathing calmed down, I thanked Dad. "Are you okay sis?" Paige placed her hand on my shoulder. "Yes. I feel better." Dad hugged me. Mom said that I was getting better. "I'm going to go upstairs, ring Jason and then journal." Dad kissed my forehead. "I love you." Hugging Mom, I said that I loved her. "See you guys in a bit." Texting Jason, I found my list for the formal dance. I still had quite a bit to do. Looking at the list, I got a pen.
Decorations- to get- Talk to Anna at school.
My dress- to get. Ask Mom and Paige to see when we can go shopping. Invite Ria and Amber too.
Make an invite list
Talk to the teachers
Ask Jason about possibly going somewhere after the dance.
Jason then texted me back.
Hey. Are you okay?
..
Yep. I'm fine. I have just come back from my therapy session. I went on my own today. Me and Claire spoke about my nightmares. And my medication.
Hearing a knock on my bedroom door, I asked who it was. 'It's your siblings.' Opening the door, I hugged both of them. 'Could we talk to you sis?' I said yes. 'As both of them sat down, I smiled at them. Paige then started talking.. 'I don't feel like.. pretty enough. I look at my friends and I just compare myself..' I hugged her. She was kinda acting different. It was concerning.. 'I just feel weird.' Caleb reassured her as well. 'You are such a lovely person sis. Do you feel like you need to talk to Mom and Dad? Or our aunties?' She squirmed a bit.. 'Once I talk, then Mom and Dad will worry about me.' Caleb then hugged her. She just went silent.. 'It's okay sis. We're here for you.' I asked Caleb about he was doing. 'Well, Dad was saying that it's good that I feel calm. I wanna focus on moving to another school, finding a new hobby and making new friends.' Me and Paige said that we would support him. 'We're siblings after all. We look after each other.' I then said that after Mom and Dad's wedding, we should have a little get together. 'It'll be nice. Just invite a few friends..' Did our brother blush?! 'Caleb.. what's up?' He said that he had to go.. 'Where?' He giggled..
'So Paigey..' She looked at me. 'I want you to know something.' A tear dropped down her cheek. Wiping it away, I gently squeezed her hand. 'I want you to know that you are beautiful. You are strong. And you're so, so smart. And kind. Cece, Bea and Izzy adore you for who you are. Me and Caleb also love you.' She then cried.. 'I hope that those are happy tears.' She giggled. 'There she is. The little sis who loved unicorns.' I asked her about cheer squad practice. 'We have another practice soon. I just feel nervous.' Asking her what she thought of herself, she was honest. 'I feel odd. I feel weird.' I wanted to know a little bit more.. As her sister, I felt this need to help her.
'I.. sometimes don't feel eating. I feel fine sometimes. I don't really know what to do Ari..' I held her.
Paige was going through something more serious..
Author's Note: I was thinking about this subject regarding a story line for Paige for a long time. I'm glad that I'm going to raise awareness for it. I would love to know what everyone thinks. I really appreciate all the love as always. x
Lauren xx
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
