Vita Mia: My life
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She has never wanted to take any part in the mafia world that her abusive and manipulative parents control. All she wants is to be free of them. All she wants is to be free of her trauma th...
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"We never realize how frozen we are, until someone starts to melt our ice"
Arabella Karve Tara loved Halloween.
And this is her first Halloween not here anymore. My first October without her.
I tie my hair back in a low, messy bun, while loosely curling my face framing pieces.
I pull on my tight, long sleeved black shirt and tan, plaid casual skirt. I pair it with my black tights and black, ankle high platform boots.
As I get dressed, all I can manage to think about is the fact that, he may be back.
Not a lot of things scare me in this world. But he does.
Or maybe it was a different enemy of my father trying to take the mafia heir in order to use against my family.
Last night I couldn't even manage to pull myself out of my bed. I fell back into my pit of fucking fear. I hate that I do that.
Panic attack, break down, unmoving.
My old therapist told me that the reason I do this pattern whenever I am scared, is that it is a panic response, like my fight or flight, but instead I just shut down. She said that I need to try and use tricks to overcome it, because it's going to slowly tear me apart if I panic the way I do, and then don't move or speak for days. I'm breaking myself.
I stand in front of my door and take an unsteady breath.
Tara would want me to be happy. Even if I got her killed. ********************** "Why the fuck am I out here Bella?"
I squat down and roll over another one of the large, orange pumpkins, only to be met with another flat and mushy side. Gnarly.
"Because it's October and I like carving fucking pumpkins. Now if your done with your temper tantrum, I would like to keep moving" I say snappily, as I stand back up and look at the rest of the flourishing pumpkin patch.
Eros just scoffs. "I told you I didn't want to fucking come out here" He says angrily, while stepping smoothly over another pumpkin.
"Then maybe you should have read the family handbook before you signed up to be my bodyguard" I say sarcastically while rolling my eyes.
"Trust me, I have fucking regrets"
"Me too, I should've ran faster" I say, referring to the many times I tried to escape from my purgatory of a life.
