Funny little thing called life

Chapter 10

It's been 2 weeks since I fought with Charlie, since he wrote that honest,beautiful letter to me. He got my note the following morning. He and Greg went to work as normal , when they returned I had made them dinner. I expressed my deepest apologies for my behaviour. They graciously said 'new day new chapter', which I greatly appreciated. Neither man pushed me for information instead allowing me to sort out my thoughts and just relax for a while. After Charlie's letter I look at him differently. I see a new strength in him and Greg's is the emotional support, quietly there, never asking for anything other than helping a friend in need. The last while has made me realise I do need help, I just need to take that difficult first step... Admitting what happened!                                                                                              It was a rainy night (as usual), the three of us were sitting on the couch watching marathons of old shows like Faulty Towers and Porridge. No one is saying anything when I blurt out,                                         "Guys, can we talk?"  I'm not sure what I'm going  to say or how I'm gonna say it, but I decide to bite the bullet and just go for it.                                                                                                                                                          "I want to tell you guys something. Something that I never told another living soul. Something that has haunted me for years, that has scared me and made me feel alone. I don't want to be scared and alone anymore." Tears are starting to flow already down my cheeks.I think these guys must think I'm an awful cry baby, I have cried more than I have laughed while being here. They both sit up neither saying a word. I take a large intake of breath.  

"After my family died I went to live with some extended family. They were very kind to me for the months that followed their death. but one night my aunt's husband, I refuse to call him uncle, came into my room and...hurt me. He did this quite often. He would tell me not to tell anyone about it or I would lose my aunt and cousins too. So I stayed quiet. One day in school we had a sex education class and they described what sex was. The one thing I took away from that day was the lady said that if you are with boys and they want more and you don't you can always say no. If you engage in sexual activity with someone who doesn't want it , then that was against the law and that person could go to jail.

I learned that what he was doing to me was wrong. She said sex between two people who both wanted sex wouldn't hurt and it would be enjoyable. But I never enjoyed any of it. I would cry myself to sleep every night, even the nights he didn't come into my room. One night when he came in I told him no, that it wouldn't happen if I said no. He just laughed and did it anyway.

When I went out shopping with my aunt one day , we were trying on clothes and she saw a bruise on my leg. She asked what happened. I cried and told her everything. few days later I was in foster care and I didn't see them again."

Greg says nothing but he puts his hand on my back. Charlie grabs a box of tissues and gives them to me. I try to say thank you through the tears  but I think it was more of a wail then anything else, he smiles weakly. I turn to Greg, I thought that he would be shocked at my revelation but his face is telling another story.

"Greg, are you ok?" I ask                                                                                                                                                                "No", he said frustratingly. " I heard my parents talk and mom said that she thought you might have had something like that happen to you. Dad asked why she felt like that and she just said it was a feeling she had. I had no idea that she might have been right. I'm so sorry Minnie"                                           "It's not your fault Greg. It happened long before we ever even met. I just don't know where to go from here. But I do know I need to do something. I don't want to spend my life with this eating away at me. I've given it too much  time, too much power already. I want to be happy, have a partner, maybe even kids some day. I can't believe I actually said that aloud. What must you think of me"