Funny little thing called life

Chapter 24

Note: Some spoilers from Boardwalk Empire will appear in this chapter. 

A month passes and Charlie had all but given up hope when Rick called to say that Charlie had been successful in a callback for a television show called 'Boardwalk Empire'. Charlie will play a recurrent character called Owen Slater for the shows second season.

Charlie was ecstatic, we both were. Producers wanted him to move to New York for nearly 6 months. I had really fallen in love with London and would have been more than happy to never leave. But I realised that the biggest reason that London was so epic was because of Charlie and without him , it just wouldn't be the same.

We again spoke with Charlie's family and this time they were a lot easier to get on board and were delighted to hear that I would join him. With that decision made, we only had 2 weeks to get a lot sorted, financially and otherwise, but we managed.

The people behind the show put us up in a beautiful apartment in Brooklyn, where the show was primarily filmed. The days were long for Charlie, but he loved every second of it. I decided to travel between New York and LA as I was needed for some business stuff. It helped me stay in contact with some friends also. It wasn't easy but we knew if we wanted to achieve our goals, sacrifices had to be made. 

After Charlie had filmed his part in Boardwalk and producers were so happy with him, they decided to keep the Owen character and asked him if he would return for series 3 where he would become a series regular. This meant even more time for him to film the show, which meant less and less time for us. But I did go visit him sometimes on the set. But I stopped because of the love scenes Charlie had coming up. They made me uncomfortable but I didn't want to be a distraction. I knew the scenes had to be done and frankly for me out of sight out of mind. 

Even though both our careers were going quite well, it felt like there was always something pulling us apart. One day we squabbled over a very silly issue ( I had no milk for my coffee) and it became this big issue. I had just come off a red eye and Charlie had been rejected for a part he was very interested in.  We didn't speak to each other for the rest of the day. I never did get my coffee that day.

The arguments didn't stop there. Little spats would turn into full blown arguments with once or twice either myself or Charlie would storm out of the room. I felt it was better to leave than say something I would later regret.  One day I was walking by a garden centre, trying again to clear my head from another argument we had, trying in vain to relax my mind. 

We have been in New York full time just over a year at this point but I can't remember seeing this place before. I love flowers so I went in and just strolled through the beautiful colours and smells emanating from my surroundings. After a while I sat on a bench located in the middle and started to watch the people passing me by. I witnessed a mother trying to control the 2 kids that were with her, they were having a compost fight and loving every second of it. I also saw a man looking completely lost, a member of staff approached him and he left happily with a cactus!

I don't know how much time passed but I enjoyed the escape immensely.  Slowly I could feel my anger and frustration fade away and just let myself enjoy my surroundings. My attention was drawn to an elderly man who looked distressed. I was about to get up to help him when he seemed to find what he was looking for. He raised up a potted plant, Daisies and began his journey to the cashier.  I was so focused on this man and his quest that I never noticed the lady sit down next to me.

"He comes here very often" I hear shaking me from my thoughts of the man making me jump. "I'm sorry" she says laughing, " you are very jumpy".

"I'm sorry" I say with a smile, "I was completely lost in my mind"

" I saw that" she replied. Her accent while very clear, was not american. She continues to speak; " He is here very often and buys the same thing each time; daisies, always daisies. One of the girls that works here says that he buys them for his wife. she is housebound so he tends to the garden so that she can still see her beloved garden to way she always maintained it."

"That's beautiful"... I start to say when the mystery lady continues, " It is.  After all these years together he still makes the effort for her. If that isn't love...." She leaves the sentence hanging in the air. A sad look spreads across her face. I take this time to look at her. She looks mid - 30's, slim figure, shoulder length hair, dark brown eyes and small lips. She isn't wearing make up, she is just naturally beautiful. 

She raises her head and smiles at me and I return the gesture. "Are you married ?" She asks. "No". 

"But you do have someone?"

"Yes"

"Tell me" She says matter of factly. I smirk at first until she adds, "No I mean it. tell me". And I do. Sitting in a garden centre with a stranger I spill out my thoughts, fears and frustrations about my relationship. How I'm worried about Charlie, hating having to fly across the country every other week. The lady ponders, sits with her elbows on her knees, hands together and both index fingers to her chin. " I see".

I look at her waiting for her to finish the sentence, but it never comes. Neither of us say anything for a few minutes until she breaks the silence. " What do you want from him?" She asks bluntly.  I must have had a confused look on my face, I say nothing so she continues; "He gave you his time, love and patience. When a lesser man would have walked away. You encouraged his dreams and now...what? Not what you wanted? not what you expected? You miss London, you were there for only a matter of months, London is his home, is he giving up? Is he doubting? No! He is living his dream with a woman he loves. You find going between cities difficult? Do something about it. Young people today find it so easy to find reasons to leave when life becomes uneasy. You love this man?"

"Absolutely". I say with certainty.

"Then, find the reason to stay, find your heart, does it truly belong with this man, if yes, make it work. Trust me when I tell you that love, real love is a blessing. A blessing we all do not receive and we do not find true love twice. Live and love with every ounce of your heart, because when it's gone you will never be the same again. Our heads and our hearts are at times at conflict, so listen to your gut. it's always right. Go find your happiness girl"

And with that, she stood up and left leaving me to just sit there taking in everything she just said. It felt very surreal. But she was right. Yet again here I was doubting me, doubting us, trying to make excuses and finding ways to upset myself. Why can't I see this pattern before it gets to this? Why do I need to have it spelt out for me? Charlie is on this great journey and he wants me to be there by his side.  I love him and want to be there for him. I need to think further, to think it through I don't want to mess it up again. So I stay sitting on the bench in the centre collecting my thoughts.