"What's going on Al?" he asks puzzled I storm into my room, Rachel's voice in my head repeating the events of our session this afternoon. I walk around the room aimlessly my thoughts moving at a hundred miles an hour. I didn't hear him come in behind me, the noise I was making must have alerted him. I didn't realize anything until I felt hands on my waist. My instincts kicked in ; I grabbed one hand turned around and twisted the hand behind his back.
"ARGH" Charlie shouted. "Oh God Charlie" I said shocked. I released him immediately. "What are you playing at? Sneaking up on me like that! I could have killed you!!" I'm shouting at him now.
"I'm sorry, I finished early, heard you come in and wanted to say hello. What's going on Al?"
"URGH, just don't ever do that to me again"
"I'm sorry I won't promise, darling are you ok?" He asked . I started moving around the room again, unable to stay still my body is buzzing .
"Ali look at me please" Charlie pleads . I stop and look at him, "What do you want Charlie?"
" I want to know if you are ok" "No Charlie, I am not ok I'm not fucking remotely ok, please just leave me alone" "Ali baby...." "Just go away Charlie, leave me alone" "Ali please" "Just fuck off Charlie!!" I regret it as soon as I say it, but maybe now he will get the message and back off.
He sighs, "Ok fine, just remember that I am here when you need me"
"I won't" I snap back. I walk around the room a few more times then sit on the bed.It's only when I sit down do I realize just how drained I feel. I put my head in my hands and cry. Cry harder than I have in months. The release feels good so much so that once I start crying I don't stop.
I must have fallen asleep; when I wake up it's dark out. I go into the bathroom and look in the mirror, my face is still red from crying and my eyes are sunken. I rinse my face with water. I head back to the bedroom and put on my pj's. I want to go and apologize to Charlie for my outburst and tell him why I was in such a state but I don't. I just sit back down on the bed and go through today's events again.
I started my session normally enough and Rachel asked me about my support network. She knows Greg so I started telling her about Charlie; about how he has been such an amazing friend and that the friendship has blossomed into a relationship. I told her about his family, his life and how he has been helping me. I was rambling away when I saw her make a face. I asked her if something was wrong and she said maybe that Charlie wasn't the right choice for me right now.
I panicked and demanded to know why she felt like that. She said maybe Charlie and I would destroy each other. She believes that Charlie and his addictive behaviour and my inexperience with men and relationships could be a recipie for disaster.
My heart broke when she said that. She went on to say that she had seen things like this before. How people similar to us would start out but soon the relationships turned abusive and both parties can spiral back into old habits. As she was saying all this all I could think of was all the amazing times Charlie and I have had together, I wondered how something so right could ever turn that sour. I thought about how I feel when Charlie is with me, the calmness that he gives me. How can that ever be wrong? i just found him and do I now let him go? As much as I fought what rachel was saying to me the thought I dreaded entered my head, 'What if she is right? what if being with me will hurt Charlie? Should I just cut and run now? I don't want to leave him, Greg or london but I could never leave him and stay close by. I know I don't have the will power to stay away from him so does that mean I need to go back to LA?
I don't want to make any decisions right now my head is too mumbled so I lay down again and pray to sleep so that in the morning I will have some answers.
Sorry for the delay in updating my laptop decided now was the time to pass on to laptop heaven, so I needed to get another one. but thankfully I'm back in business.
Hope you enjoyed this chapter and as always if you have any questions or comments please don't hesitate to comment, feedback is always very welcome :)
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Funny little thing called life
FanfictionAli is a young woman who goes to stay with her brother and his best friend Charlie Cox. She is running away from her past. She thinks she can hide out with them for a few weeks and go home. She finds a true friend in Charlie and maybe he can help h...
