Witness

30| Identify (pt. 2)

Jax moved forward with me so that I could get a better look at the body. I knew in an instant that he was, indeed, the same guy from the shooting. I remembered his dark facial hair; the nose that looked like it had been broken several times before; the shade of his skin, though it was now void of color and life; and lastly, I remembered his eyes.

The same eyes that I caught though the passenger side window; Eyes that had fired a bullet at me as I passed; Eyes that had been full of so much malice, but were now completely vacant as they stared up at me.

I had no doubt in my mind; the visceral reaction my body was having just confirmed what I knew to be true.

"That's him," I said, trying to keep my voice from wavering.

I had done my job; I had identified the body... but dealing with the memory flashbacks was worse than I had even anticipated. I didn't want to look anymore as I quickly turned away from the scene.

Jaxon was still standing behind me, strong and calm. The second I turned around, his hand weaved through my hair, pulling my face to his chest.

"Are we done here?" He asked the examiner, hugging me tight to him.

I felt like I had been holding myself together by tape and glue since the incident, and right now in this moment, the tape was breaking. I held onto Jaxon as if I could physically borrow some of his strength just by being so close.

"Yeah," the man replied, "You're free to go. Get her back safely."

"Of course. Let's go, Ems," Jax said, keeping an arm draped over my shoulders as he ushered me from the room.

My legs felt weak, but I forced them to keep moving forward as I clung to Jason's large frame. I just wanted out of this building.

Once we got to the car, Jax opened the door for me, keeping a palm on my lower back until I was safely inside. Once he let go and shut my door, a strangled, choked sob escaped my lips. Seeing that man's face flooded all the memories back as if it had happened yesterday instead of almost 2 months ago.

I was starting to feel the panic rising in my chest and my throat was constricting. My breathing became shallow as my resolve crumbled. I recognized this feeling as a panic attack, but I still couldn't stop it from happening.

"Hey... it's okay, Em, I'm right here," Jax said, reaching across the center console. I hadn't even heard him get into his seat.

"I can't... oh god..." I choked out.

"Shit," Jax grumbled, getting back out of the car and rounding to my side in a hurry. He threw open the car door, standing directly in front of me.

"Come here," he said, pulling me to his chest. I would have fallen right off my seat if he wasn't holding me up, my legs hanging on either side of his torso. I threw my arms around his neck, and I could feel his arms tighten around me as he rubbed up and down on my back. "It's okay. You're safe with me. Just breathe."

"It was... his eyes," I choked out, "They couldn't have closed his eyes?"

"I know... it's hard to see that. They leave the eyes open to make a person easier to identify."

I shuddered hard against his body. "He was just... staring at me; with those same eyes I saw that day..."

"Shhh..." he soothed, tightening his grip on me, "I know. It's a lot, but you did so good, Em."

I sobbed silently as I pressed my face into the space between his neck and shoulder, clinging to him as if it would bring me impossibly closer.

I could do this. I could get a grip. It took all my concentration, but I focused all of my thoughts and senses onto Jaxon.