Witness

17| Regrets

"I'm going to the gym," I heard someone whispering, "Want to come?"

"No thanks. I should stay and take care of... this," Jax whispered back. I recognized his voice even in a whisper. I could only assume that when he said "this" he made some sort of gesture to me, pretending to still be asleep on the futon.

He must be talking with Blake, although I never heard him come in last night. Maybe I could just pretend to be asleep forever. Yeah. That sure seemed like a better plan than facing off with a very angry Jax.

"Go easy on her," Blake whispered, "I'll see you later."

Then, I heard the door close and I was left to an uncomfortable silence. Well... I guess not that uncomfortable since Jax thought I was still asleep.

I wondered what even happened last night... it was all so blurry. I remembered being at the party, talking with Hannah, meeting some creepy dude whose name I forgot, and a very angry Jaxon who showed up and... and I couldn't remember after that.

"I know you're awake, Emery," Jaxon's powerful voice drifted to me.

"What?" I questioned, "How did you know that?"

"You're face is all scrunched up like you do when you're thinking too hard."

"Oh," I said, slowly pushing myself up into a sitting position. My head throbbed and I felt a little nauseous, but overall, I should have felt much, much worse. "I'm scared to face you," I admitted.

"You should be." Jax said, moving to lean against his half-lofted bed. "How do you feel?"

"Guilty," I blurted, using my fingers to clear some makeup from beneath my eyes.

He smirked. "I meant physically."

"Oh... not great, but definitely a lot better than I would have thought."

"Good," he crossed his arms over his chest, assessing me. The movement made the veins in his forearms pop, and I had to put serious effort into tearing my eyes away.

"So... let's get this over with then," I sighed.

"Get what other with?"

"The yelling? The lecture?"

"You won't get either of that from me. You're an adult. You know what you did was wrong." I know it shouldn't have bothered me, but his matter-of-fact tone made me feel like a child.

"Well..." I started, preparing to argue, but then I realized it wasn't worth it. Besides, I still wasn't sure what happened once he found me last night. "Yeah. You're right. I'm sorry."

He ran a hand over his face. "You're sorry?" He asked, "That's it?"

"Yes?"

"That's bullshit, Emery," he deadpanned, locking his intimidating stare on me.

"I'm sorry, Jaxon. I'm not sure what else you want me to say! If I'm being totally honest, I'm not sorry that I went to the party. But I am sorry that I lied to you to do it, and that I got way too drunk..."

"Seriously? I just don't understand you. You don't regret going? Going to that party could have jeopardized my job or even worse, your safety," he was angry now, barely keeping his voice low enough so people couldn't hear us outside the door.

"But it didn't! I went to the party and still got back here just fine. I didn't make any mistakes with my identity, and it wasn't a risk being there," I justified.

"But it could have been. That's what you're not fucking getting. You leaving and not telling me where you were going was the worst possible decision you could make while you're in the WPP. And leaving your phone behind could have been a fatal mistake, which is a concept you don't seem to grasp," he paused for a moment, taking a deep breath. "It's not ideal, but I'm here with you for a reason. If the WPP thought a simple location and identity change would keep you safe, then you wouldn't need me. And for the record, the only reason you got back here safe and sound without being hurt was because I carried you back here."