THE MAFIA'S MISTAKEN BRIDE

CHAPTER 82

Xavier's POV 
 
Finally, I am home.
 
Forcing myself to enter as the words from Jasmine keeps ringing a bell in my ears.
 
I am going to Chicago 
 
I need to go back to Chicago 
 
For three days in a row, I haven't set my eyes on her. I usually get back home very late in the night, thinking she would be gone and I won't have to watch her leave.
 
I am a complete mess.
 
And I am enraged by her decision.
 
Just when I thought everything was fine and going well, she decided to go back home. That has always been the plan. Going back home. I shouldn't be mad but I can't help it.
 
She doesn't belong here but I made her stay here forcefully. It is time high that she left. 
 
I know this. I know I am supposed to let her go. I should have let her go for weeks now but my selfishness wouldn't allow me. I was hoping she would never mention a thing about Chicago any longer but she did.
 
What do I expect when Sebastian is already out of the way? I promised to get rid of Sebastian and let her go.
 
Since Sebastian is out of the way, she is allowed to leave.
 
Wanting to make my way to the penthouse just like I have been doing two nights in a row, I sway, taking note of my drunken state.
 
I didn't mean to be drunk.
 
I took only a bottle of it in the car. It was meant to help me think less of her or anything that has to do with her.
 
If I hadn't quit smoking, I would have some instead.
 
A door opens and I see Jasmine walking towards me before I can get to the end of the staircase. She is not in her nightwear. She is wearing a black beautiful dress and it makes my heart skip a beat.
 
For two reasons.
 
Because she looks so pretty in the dress.
 
And because it seems she is leaving today finally.
 
She wouldn't be dressed up like this by this time if she wasn't leaving.
 
Quickly, I glance down at my wristwatch to check the time. It is 4 am. I didn't realize it was already morning.
 
I avoid meeting her gaze as she approaches.
 
"Xavier?" she calls out to me when she gets closer. "Where have you been all night?"
 
She tries to touch me as I take note of the tone of worry in her voice. Before she can touch me, I step back, trying so hard to compose myself from grabbing her and forcing her to stay no matter what.
 
I can force her to stay but I won't.
 
She deserves to leave. I am just being selfish and I can't help it.
 
"Xavier?" Hurt flashes across her expression and it does something to my heart. I watch her stare at me with her mouth agape at my reaction to her touch.
 
Her pained expression almost breaks me. It makes me want to apologize immediately. It makes me want to ask why she made such a decision after everything. It makes me want to hold onto her and never let go.
 
It makes me want to tell her how much I want her here. How much I never want her to leave. It makes me want to tell her why she doesn't need to go back to Chicago.
 
But I can't find my voice. Instead, I walk past her hurriedly and she follows behind calling my name.
 
"Xavier!"
 
"Xavier?"
 
"What the hell is wrong with you?!" she screams out in pain, her voice echoing and breaking the silence in the house.
 
I whirl around immediately, facing her squarely.
 
"You!" I point at her with boiling rage. "You are my problem. Can you just let me be for a second?"
 
She gasps and retreats, taken aback by my rude behavior. Realization dawns on me immediately and a curse almost slips through my mouth.
 
I am being selfish.
 
I turn around and begin to leave again, totally ashamed of myself. I feel nothing but anger inside of me. Not just at Jasmine for choosing to leave but at myself for not wanting to let go. I am mad at myself for being a jerk. For letting my emotions get the better of me.
 
All of this is strange to me.
 
I have never felt this way towards anyone. This pull of attraction does crazy things to my existence. This selfishness that is tempting me to force her to stay. This feeling makes me hope for the impossible.
 
I hate how weak I feel. 
 
I hate every one of these.
 
Just before I can get to the elevator, someone pulls me back roughly and I come face to face with Jasmine.
 
I never knew she followed.
 
She has a cold look on her face mixed with pure anger and hurt. Suddenly, the anger is replaced with a joyless smile that tugs at my heart.
 
I expect her to throw a tantrum. I expect her to scream and shout at me for being selfish. For not wanting to let her go. For not wanting to keep to the agreement of letting her go.
 
But she doesn't do any of that.
 
Instead, she smiles and says. "Happy birthday, Xavier."
 
My eyebrows raise in confusion.
 
What is today's date? How the hell did she know it was my birthday? Is that why she is up by this time not because she is leaving? Did she change her mind about leaving?
 
I have been dreading going into our bedroom for three nights in a row now because I didn't want to see an empty room. I expect her to be long gone by now but she is still here.
 
Here she is wishing me a happy birthday when I don't even remember it's my birthday.
 
"I baked a cake", she adds, holding my hand and still smiling.
 
The smile on her face confuses me more and I clench my fist tightly beside me to stop myself from grabbing and kissing the living hell out of her.
 
I don't deserve this. I don't deserve this kindness. I don't deserve her.
 
"Why are you still here?" I manage to ask, curiosity setting in.
 
I want to know why she is still here. I want to know if she has changed her mind about leaving. I want to know if she still intends to leave or not.
 
I am struggling not to hold her back and beg her not to leave. Spend every minute with her. Treat and love her right.
 
Love.
 
The word snaps me out of my reverie.
 
Is this love? Is this what it is called? Do I love her?
 
Suddenly it hits me.
 
Is she leaving because I didn't tell her I loved her too when she confessed her feelings to me at the hospital? Is this because I am not reciprocating her love for me?
 
I am trying so hard to show that she means a lot to me too. I don't have to say the love word. This is why I took her to that boat house and also to the registry. 
 
When I mentioned that I changed the name on the marriage certificate during one of our heated arguments, she didn't seem to believe me so I thought letting her see things for herself would make it believable.
 
I wanted her to believe in me.
 
I wanted her to know she means the world to me.
 
Action speaks louder than voice. I don't need to voice out every single thing I feel. My actions make up for what I am not saying.
 
"Is this about my decision to go to Chicago? Is that why you have been acting weird?" She questions, the hurt back on her expression.
 
Not wanting to hide it anymore, I nod and let my hand drop from hers before folding them across my bosom.
 
"Yes. You should be gone."
 
"Really? So you want me gone that much?" Her voice breaks and it confuses me more.
 
Isn't this what she wants? She said she wanted to leave and I am giving her the chance now before I change my mind and force her to stay back.
 
"Xavier, you want me to leave?" she demands again when I am not saying anything. "Say something, will you? Anything. Just say the word and I will leave this instant. You don't need to make me feel unwanted. I will leave if that is what you want…"
 
"What I want or what you want?" I cut her short, anger simmering inside of me, making me drop my two folded arms. "You are the one who is obsessed about going back to Chicago. I gave you that chance to leave and now you are telling me to let you know if I want you gone or not."
 
She remains mute.
 
"If you want to leave, you can. You don't need my permission to."
 
I want to turn around to leave when her broken voice stops me. "Xavier."
 
I stop with my back to her.
 
"I have always known you were cold-hearted but I never knew you were this heartless."
 
"What?!" I face her squarely, hurt by the statement. What exactly am I doing other than satisfying her wish to leave?
 
"Yes. You are a jerk and I hate you", she throws her arm at me in an attempt to slap my chest but I grab her, slamming her body to mine, her face inches away from mine.
 
The unshed tears in her eyes make me grit my teeth and clench my jaws.
 
Her lips are wet, calling to me. It makes me want to claim them. Taste them. Suck on them.
 
"You want to leave, don't you?" I force myself to ask in between the whirling emotions inside of me.
 
"Leave to where?" She cries out. "After the confession of my love for you, you think that is what I would do? If I wanted to leave, why would I summon up the courage to confess how I feel to you?"
 
A tear rolls down her eyes as my confusion intensifies.
 
She told me she wanted to leave, didn't she? Why is she saying something else now?
 
"But you said you wanted to leave, didn't you?"
 
She looks taken aback and a bit shocked before replying. "I didn't."
 
"You did." I insist.
 
She shakes her head in disagreement. "I didn't."
 
My hold on her slackens but she isn't pulling away. She is staring at me with those adorable brown eyes making me feel conscious of myself for the very first time.
 
Scared that my breath stinks as a result of the alcohol I took on my way home, I step back a little.
 
"If this is about what I said to you at the registry, then you misunderstood. I told you I needed to go to Chicago. I expected you to ask me what I wanted to do there but you didn't ask. You avoided me like a plague. You pretended as if I was nonexistent."
 
"But…" I trail off, cursing myself mentally for misunderstanding what she said even though I still don't comprehend what she means by wanting to go to Chicago. "What do you want from there? Why didn't you tell me?"
 
"I need to go to Chicago to see my aunt. I want to clear up the mystery about my birth. I want to know the reason why Andre and I look alike and have the same baby tattoo. She is the only one who can answer my questions. I didn't grow up to know my parents but I have their picture and they are not Andre's parents. I want to know the truth."
 
A weight as heavy as a sack filled with regret settles inside of me alongside guilt.
 
This is it.
 
I misunderstood. I f**king misunderstood her. She said she needed to go to Chicago and I assumed she wanted to leave and go back to her life.
 
Silence falls.
 
I don't know what to say. I don't know if I am supposed to apologize for misunderstanding her and for avoiding her.
 
She sniffles and I look up to see her in tears. Instinctively, I take a long step forward and hold her head in between my two palms before placing my forehead gently on hers.
 
With a whisper, I say. "I am sorry."
 
My lips brush hers softly like a feather before an idea jumps into my head.
 
I pull away before I can think of deepening the kiss and mutter. "Can we go together?"
 
She looks confused as she exclaims. "What?"
 
"Let's go to Chicago together", I suggest with a smile on my face as relief washes through my whole existence at her explanation and my heart thumping wildly within my ribcage in complete excitement.
 

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They are going back to Chicago? What do you think will be the outcome?

Sorry for not posting yesterday☺️

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