eyeless - steddie✩

𝟎𝟐.

It's been 2 days since I saw Eddie at the Family Video and I still think about our one minute interaction. Why have I been thinking about it so much? I honestly didn't know the answer.

I'm driving Robin home and the sunset looked so beautiful in the sky. It was golden and shone on me perfectly as I felt my face warm at the rays. "I'm thinking of asking Vicki out. Is that a big move?" Robin said out of nowhere. I nearly stopped the car.

"WHAT?" I exclaimed. "Yesterday you were telling me about how you think Vicki doesn't like you back, and now you're telling me you wanna ask her out?" I was certainly surprised by Robin's sudden uptick in having balls. "Well...things changed today. Our hands kept brushing against each other and she kept looking at me with goo-goo eyes." Robin smiled and her face turned pink. I smiled in surprise and proudly. "Good for you, Robin. You should if she's doing that. But what are you gonna do if she..." I trailed off because I felt it would hurt her to finish. "I'll play it off as a joke. Classic girl jokes" Robin mimicked her voice into mocking.

I nodded and continued to stare into the gold road.
-
I laid in my bed with strange thoughts. Something about Eddie made me want to be near him, in an odd way. I felt as if he was a fun person almost? It was all so sudden. I didn't think much of Eddie besides that he played DND and he was good looking. I had always thought he was, I mean, look at him. He was littered with a 'cool' vibe and has the most handsome features.

I mean, if I was a girl I'd be all over him.

I hope I see him tomorrow, I wanna see him again. Maybe I could become friends with him? Or is that weird? We'd barely talked before but he seemed friendly with that..wink. That wink sent chills up my neck.

I blinked hard at my own thought. Why did I care so much about a wink? It was attractive but..why am I so attracted to it? I shook my head and rolled over on my stomach, wrapping the blanket around my bare legs. I couldn't seem to wrap my head around WHY I liked him so much. We'd never had a full conversation before and yet I was so drawn to him. Why? Maybe I could talk to Robin about it, she knew about this kind of stuff. Suddenly I felt my heart sink. "this kind of stuff".

I didn't like Eddie in that way, no way. We were so different from each other, there's just no way. He has his way of life and I have mine, but why can't we be friends? Then I thought back to his aroma.

That curled beautiful hair. His devilish eyes and grin was so seductive it could've casted a spell on me.

I almost teared up, for so many reasons. Eddie was so beautiful I could barely bear it. There is just no way I could love him...there is no way.
-
I spent the night sobbing, which was for multiple reasons. I was alone with my thoughts. I couldn't even bring myself to think about Eddie after I had realized my obsession with him. We had barely spoke more than 5 sentences to each other and I was enraptured by his alluring behavior. I couldn't be like this, I won't be like this. It's not me. I was like a deer in headlights looking at him, he would be the death of me.