eyeless - steddie✩

𝟏𝟕. 𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐝𝐯𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐝

!!TW!! HEAVY Suicide mentions, EXTREME violence, homophobic slurs, and a brutal fight. Read at your own risk.
—•—Eddie's pov)
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What was even the point of anything anymore. I didn't have Steve, so what did I have? I didn't see him smile anymore. He was gone. He was dead, well, he wasn't dead, he was jut lay soulless. It killed me to see him so empty but I wanted to gouge my eyes out for screaming at him. I wanted to apologize but I just can't, he'd yell at me and avoid me. I do love him. I really do.

Every time I pass by him I have no expression, just nothing. I was angry at him, so so so angry. I resent him. Why had he screamed at me like he did? What happened at work that day? Why didn't he just fucking tell me? Why? I resorted back to drugs again. Well, I've been smoking weed since I was 15 but I needed more. Shrooms did the trick for me. I smoked a whole blunt before school just to get through the day, and somehow, no one noticed. I didn't talk to Gareth,Dustin, Mike, or Lucas. I couldn't. Gareth tried talking to me by my locker but all I could do was shrug and walk away. He was angry with me now. He should be, I've been acting like a total dick. Maybe I deserved it. And hey, what even would've happened when school ended? We'd have to move on and be adults. I was already 18 and so was he, we'd grow apart, right? Would we? He just meant so fucking much to me. Oh god.

I feel like losing him was losing a part of myself. That hole carved itself in me again and cut even deeper than before. And it stung.

I sat in History, just thinking. Spacing out every now and then. Clicking my pen and not making one word out of the teacher's lecture. I felt tears pool into my eyes the more I thought about him, and I didn't know what to do or where to go. "Mr.Munson can you tell me why that is?" He called. "Hm?" I answered. "Were you even paying attention?" He yelled. I blinked away the tears and furrowed my brows. "Excuse me?" I asked. "Watch your tone, Munson. And listen." He said as he continued. I can't do this. And this wasn't just some "relationship in high school". No. This was the love of my life. This was my heartbeat. My reason.

The bell rang and I slumped out of my chair, walking briskly to my locker. Finding it spray painted and literally pissed on. PISSED THE FUCK ON. I stared at it, and I felt myself snap. I screamed and kicked at the locker, again and again and again. I didn't stop screaming, and I didn't know why. I just couldn't. "Faggot freak" the writing said. A noose was tied to the lock, just big enough for a head to fit in. I cried and kicker and scream, ripping the noose off. I knew who did this. I knew.

I forcefully pushed past everyone in my way, losing myself in my own head. I kept crying and I finally saw him. In all his fucking glory. "HEY CUNT!!" I screamed as loud as I could. He turned. "What'd you call me you fucking faggot? he looked me up and down. "I called you a CUNT" i said . "You got a piss kink or what, Jason?" I yelled and laughed at him. I almost felt my eyebrow twitch.

"No, you fucking freak" he said as he stepped towards me. We were close now. "Then why'd you piss all over my locker, huh? You a faggot?" I cocked my eyebrow and smiled at him. He swung his arm at my face and I fell to the ground at the impact, my head immediately bruised. "Don't call me a fag, faggot. Why don't you go use that rope I gave ya" he climbed onto my and straddled my body, grabbing my shoulders to keep me down.

Only now did I notice the extremely large crowd of student around us, the entire fucking school in one hallway. I squirmed underneath him and kicked my legs, but that didn't work. I scratched at his face and punched his throat. "Fuck!" He yelled. He repeatedly punched me straight to the face. Hit after hit after hit. I felt everything break. I spat in his face and released from his grip, I punched him in the gut and then the nose.

I felt his legs go weak and I slipped my legs from beneath his waist, kicking him back away from me in the chest. I crawled backward. Cheers and yells surrounded us. I felt blood run down my face onto my shirt and jacket. "You fucking bitch! You broke my fucking nose! Fuck! You fucking cunt!" He screamed as he grabbed at me again, as forceful as before. I squirmed again and nearly feared for my life and he straddled me again and grabbed both of my arms. "What the fuck are you doing?" I screamed. He pinned me down and pulled a switchblade out from his back pocket, swinging it open.

A butterfly knife. "What the fuck?!?" I kicked and yelled as much as possible. He lifted the sleeve of my left arm and I felt the sharp knife draw blood against me. I wailed as my screams pierced through the hallways. Tears fell out of my eye sockets as I could feel the letters being carved into my arm. "No! Don't!" I sobbed. Why was no one helping me? Where the fuck are the teachers.

I bawled underneath Jason in screams and cries for help, but no one did. My guttural yells were directly into his face and I made sure to make direct eye contact with him. "I want to FUCKING KILL YOU!!" I screamed. I scratched at his eyes and he finally let me go. I sobbed and cried like a child on the floor. Everything hurt. Everything. How can I go on like this. "You're a fucking pussy. Fairy." He spat. He got up and wiped blood from his face. All I could do was beg for Steve. Where the hell is Steve? "Steve? Where is Steve? Steve?" I looked around as someone helped me up from the ground. A girl. "Holy fucking shit you're gonna bleed out! Call 911!!" She yelled. It was blurry. "Huh? Where is Steve?" I asked her.

"Steve? Steve Harrington?"

"Yes! Steve!" I yelled.

She looked to her right. There he was.

"Oh god, Steve. Help me! Please!!" I begged. I begged so so so hard. He just stared down at me. Crying. I gripped his leg and begged on my knees for him. "I'm so sorry, Steve." I cried. Everything was getting slower. He kneeled down to me and held me. He held me. He held me so tight and so close I just let myself fall limp. He rocked me back and forth, whispering sweet phrases in my ear. "I've got you. It's gonna be okay" he said. I felt so safe. "Wh...why didn't you help me earlier?" I cried. "I couldn't get to you" he sobbed. He gasped and cried with me. He gripped my head and my torso. Sirens. The sirens was the last thing I heard before I passed out.
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