Greatness

Volume 2; Part 6

I'm back! I'm sorry for being absent too long. I have been grieving and taking time to myself. I wanted to come back and surprise you guys with a chapter! 

To also thank you to those who reached out and commented your condolences. It's still a very rough time for me, but I'm hanging in there. It's been a very emotionally exhausting month, my father passed away Nov.23 and he was in another country for vacation. We had to go through a whole process to get his body back to our country. I didn't get to bury him until just about 2 weeks ago. So I really appreciate everyone's patience during this difficult time.

No one can teach you how to grieve, especially when you lose a parent. My father was so much more than a provider, he was a jokester, a man who feared nothing and worked everyday since he was 9. My father was also the man who barely watched futbol but when he would take me to games, he would be the loudest supporter you'd ever known. He didn't care a lick about what anyone thought of him, let alone, me; his youngest daughter. Coming out to him was one of my worst fears, all for him to just chuckle and tell me that he loved me regardless of who I loved. He was a guys guy, always giving a helping hand to just about anyone, without asking for anything in return. My father was also the man I saw 2 years ago, watching his father take his last breath, going through his own grief. I was my grandfathers favorite, and he too loved me regardless of who I loved. 

A little small insight into one of my most cherished memories of my father. A couple years ago, I was a bit confused with my sexuality and gender. Always feeling different than most girls, believing I might have been transgendered. My father accepted me if I was, he once told me that if I wanted to be a boy, that I had to be tough.

He also reminded me that boys wear their phones in the front pocket, not the back. 😂

Needless to say, I now identify as her/she :) which is my assigned birth. I don't want any confusion.

These were words I wished I would have said about him at his funeral but.... My family's catholic, so coming out at my dads funeral wasn't ideal 😂😂

Thank you for reading my crazy rant.

Now please 🙏

Enjoy my short chapter, my gratitude to my readers.

The words I have subconsciously wished to have heard one day, but never imagined happening— were finally said. Looking into her eyes, I could see the sincerity behind them as they showed a warm green reflecting back at mine.

I wanted nothing more then to reach out, put my hands on her cheek to pull her in for a heavily prolonged kiss. What held me back was heart break, the chance she wants me could lead us to hurting each other, given our history. We are also very successful athletes who want to win all the same things, and that would lead to envy.

"Eh... ¿está todo bien?" (... is everything okay?) She clears her throat after I've stayed quiet since her confession. I observe her lightly, as I notice the worry behind her eyes. She was anticipating my response, and the longer I went; the more her thoughts fought a war in her head.

"M'honora que estigueu prou còmode per dir-m'ho" (I'm honored that you were comfortable enough to tell me that)

I gently put my hand just slightly above her knee, a small gesture of gratitude. She didn't acknowledge the contact, still stuck in her head. I was going to take it off, assuming I was crossing a boundary, only for her hand to land on my very own. A soft testament of acceptance of the contact I presented.

"Podría esto funcionar alguna vez? ¿con nosotros?" (Could this ever work? With us?)

She carried hope behind the green irises, it made me want to take back everything I was feeling but I would hurt myself if I did. The look of sadness soon reached her, as my hand was gently removed as she got up.