Meddle About | Kit Connor

• ~ Forty Six ~ •

Chapter 46: Lustful Thinking
(I hope this chapter name scares you)

I had gotten out of the shower and got dressed. I was curling my hair when Kit walked in

"Lex, I gotta admit something."

"And what's that, love?"

Kit took a deep breath.

"I'm more than jealous of Josh. He's hot, and he was your first like everything. I'm genuinely afraid that I'm gonna lose you now that he's back in the picture.."

"Kit.. you aren't going to lose me."

"Yeah, but how can you be sure?"

"Do you trust me?"

"You know I do."

"Then that's how you stay sure."

He smiled and kissed me.

"Oh hey." I said as I looked up at him. "Don't you have that meeting for whatever you're doing today-"

"I have no idea what you're talking about-"

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Joe was flying in to visit and he was going to be staying with Kit and I, so he stayed back. I had gotten to the studio to see Josh waiting by the door.

"I didn't realize you and your manager were the only people who had keys to this place."

"Trey's here. His car is out there. Did you knock?"

"Not necessarily."

I chuckled and unlocked the door.

"Hey Trey!"

I saw Trey in the booth setting things up. He walked out and Josh's jaw dropped.

"Your manager is TreyLee McNeal?"

"Yeah! Wait, Trey- you're famous-"

He shrugged his shoulders.

"Kinda. A long time ago I used to rap a bit."

"You've been my manger for almost 4 years! How did I not know this?"

"I prefer not to talk about my wild teenage years."

"Anyways, Trey, this is my friend Josh."

"You have friends? I'm just playin. Nice to meet you kid."

Josh had shook his hand while looking around.

"This is your studio? This is insane."

"You get used to it."

I put my stuff down on the table. When Trey turned to me.

"So, the booth is missing cords so I'm gonna go pick those up. Are you two good here?"

"Yeah. We're fine."

"Alright, I'll be back in like an hour."

"An hour!?"

"I gotta get food-"

Trey closed the door and left leaving Josh and I alone in the studio.

"So.." he said quietly.

"Just say it. I've been expecting it."

"Why did you ghost me Alex?"

Alex.. he used to call me Alex all the time...

"I was scared. I was scared I was gonna get attached and hurt you. I left before I could.."

Josh sighed.

"Alexia, it hurt me more that we had sex then you ghosted me. Why didn't you ghost me before then?"

"I don't know.."

Josh was hurt. His feelings were coming back up to the surface, and mine were as well.

"Wanna know what people started saying about me after you left? You left because I was so bad at sex. My father killed himself because I was a disappointment to him."

"Josh.."

"I hate to say it, but I was in love with you Alexia. I was so in love with you that it was embarrassing."

"Josh, I was 16.."

"Yeah? I was just barely 18. I had just turned 18 after you disappeared."

"Josh-"

"Wanna know what the problem is? Me being here with you. Being here with you is bring back so much that I swear-"

My body moves before I can stop myself. Next thing I know my arms are around his neck and my lips are on his. His grip around my waist tightens.

"Alex.."

"Shh."

I pull on the bottom of his shirt a bit signaling him to take it off. He removed his shirt, swiftly, My lips don't leave his until I come to a realization. I push myself away.

"Fuck. What the fuck am I doing? I have a boyfriend-"

"Lex-"

"Oh fuck. Fuck! What am I supposed to tell Kit? Oh I fucked up! I fucked up!"

"Alexia-"

"I'll call you later. I gotta- I gotta go."

I grabbed my stuff and sat in my car. I started driving towards home. What the fuck do I do now?