Forced To Marry The Mafia

Night

(TW: MENTIONS OF SA AND DRUGS)

Azalea sat behind the wheel, her hands gripping it tightly, while I stared blankly at my phone. We had been driving through the city for what seemed like hours, the low sound of the song on the radio cutting the tension between us. I always hated being alone with Azalea.

The sun had set, leaving the city bathed in the artificial glow of streetlights and neon signs. Azalea stole glances at me. The city's constant hum seemed to echo the silence that had settled between us.

Finally, unable to bear the heavy silence any longer, Azalea broke the silence. "El, can I ask you a question?" I averted my gaze from my phone to her, "Sure what's up?" She took a deep breath, "How long are you planning on keeping this up?" I knew exactly what she was talking about.

 "I don't know what you're talking about." I turned back to my phone. Azalea's knuckles whitened as she tightened her grip on the steering wheel. "Cut the bullshit, you know exactly what I'm talking about." 

"Aza can we please not talk about this? I'm tired." I sighed and put my phone on my lap. "Elara, we can't keep avoiding this. You're scared, and I can see it. We've been friends for years, and I can't stand seeing you like this." She turned her head to look at me, she had a look of concern. I let out a heavy sigh, my breath formed a fog on the window. "I appreciate your concern, Aza, I really do. But I don't need to talk about anything. I'm fine."

"You can't just forget, El. It doesn't work that way," Azalea insisted, her voice tinged with a mix of concern and frustration. I started to get irritated. "Why can't you just let it go? I don't need a lecture. I'm fine." 

Azalea took a deep breath, attempting to compose herself. "I'm not trying to lecture you. I just hate seeing you suffer in silence. We both went through something unimaginable, and I can't stand the thought of you going through it alone." 

"Azalea, I have moved on, I'm living my life I'm even married for fuck sake what more do I have to do?" Azalea's gaze softened as she reached out to gently touch my arm. "Elara, I understand that it's difficult, but suppressing your feelings won't make them disappear. It's okay to be vulnerable and to ask for help. We can go through this together." I pulled away, "Aza, there is nothing to go through together." 

The car descended into another stretch of heavy silence, broken only by the occasional drumming of rain on the roof. Azalea wrestled with her emotions, torn between pushing y/n to open up and respecting her friend's boundaries.

Azalea hesitated before speaking again. "Elara, I just want you to know that I care about you. I can't force you to talk, but I can't stand idly by while you're hurting." I ran my hand through my hair in frustration and turned in my seat to look at her, "Azalea, I'm married, I sleep on the same bed with my husband, I have had sex with my husband, I let him see me naked, what more should I do to show that I'm past it?" I turned back in my seat and went on my phone. 

"I thought we could lean on each other." Azalea continued, her voice softening. "But it feels like you've built this wall around yourself, shutting me out." She continued, "I need you to be honest with me, El," she pleaded. "I can't stand the distance between us. We've been through so much together, and now it feels like you're slipping away. You can't keep suppressing your feelings. It's eating away at you, and I can see it. We have to face our past and find a way to heal."

 I scoffed."Heal? There's no healing from what we went through, Aza. Some wounds never really close. We just have to sew them back up and forget they exist." She pointed at my arms, "I see you got your scars lasered." 

"We were young and something traumatic happened to us, I chose not to dwell on the past and move on. Talking about it won't change what happened. It won't make the nightmares go away." She turned to look at me even more concerned, "You still get your nightmares?"