The Adventure of a Lifetime Awaits

Passions Ignited

It was late by the time we got back home. Shopping, site seeing and so much laughter my stomach hurt, made for an amazing day! I felt so much better. My mind was clearer. After really taking over everything with the kids, and I mean everything, that had happened so far, I was relieved. Surprisingly, they were all for me going for it. As they put it, I'm an adult, they are grown and if it this is what I want then go for it. It was a relief to know they really are ok with it. Because the honest truth, is yes, I do want this. Now, the only thing left is to talk to the guys. They had listened to Binnie and left me alone all day. It was beyond tempting to text them, but I resisted the temptation.

That night I dreamt of a life I've only written about. It was amazing and beautiful. When I woke up, I felt I needed to wait one more day. Though Don and Tony went out, I stayed in. I needed to do some self-reflecting. I told the kids if they saw any of the guys, they just needed to say I wasn't ready. Because, well, I'm scared. I didn't tell them that, but it's true. I'm scared of what I'm feeling for them. This feels stronger that just lust. And that, that's what is scaring me. I don't want to get involved for just a one-night stand. And I really hope that's not what I'm setting myself up for. But I know, ultimately, this comes down to me. And I ready to accept the consequences of my actions. I'm hoping at the end of this day, I'll feel more resolved in my decision. I know I have to give them, plus myself, an answer soon. We all deserve to know, not be lead on.

The next morning, I woke up fully rested and recharged. Yesterday I was able to clear my mind and solidify my decision. I may not understand what these feelings exactly are or why I'm feeling them so quickly, but this is what I want. I like them, all of them. Well, maybe more than just like, but I'm not ready to go there. I want to be with them, however long they'll have me. And with no regrets. Still shocked they want me. My head hasn't quite grasp that as of yet. But it was time to stop doubting it. I'm going to go with it and just let it be. Don't know how long it will last, but it's time to allow myself the sexual freedom I've only written about. The kind I have been craving, for a while.

Quickly dressing, I grabbed my stuff and make a dash for the stairs. Choosing to run down the 6 flights of stairs and out the doors, hoping to not encounter anyone. A good run will wake me up and set my day. Ah, fresh early morning air! Whew, glad I dressed in the heavier leggings though. It's cold this morning! At least it's not currently raining and hoping it stays that way.

An hour and a half later, I finally made my way back. Back up the stairs I went to finish out my cardio for the day. I felt refreshed and ready to talk to the guys. Just as I walked out of the stairwell, Changbin was coming from the gym. He was so engrossed in what he was looking at on his phone, he didn't see me walk up right in front of him. He looks absolutely adorable in his glasses and curly hair. He keeps chewing on his bottom lip and it's making me tempted to kiss him to stop.

"Good Morning Binnie!"

"SHIT!!!" shouts Binnie, nearly throwing his phone. "When-how, uh... WHERE did you come from?"

"Well, that would be from my mom..." I say, laughing at his expression.

"Oh, someone is being a smart ass this morning! You could give Minho a run for his money on how quiet you walk. Oh my god woman! You nearly gave me a heart attack!"

"Ha ha ha! Your expression was fantastic. I just got back from a run and came up the stairs. Now, quick question. What are y'all doing today?"

"You are extremely happy this morning. So, why you want to know?" Changbin looks at me suspiciously as he leans on the wall.

Taking a look at him, I make a split-second decision. Quickly walking straight up to him, I stand directly in from of him. Standing up, he tilts his head trying to decide what's going on. Before he has a change to ask me anything, I lean in and kiss him.