THIRTY SEVEN

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I felt like the biggest low-life in the world

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I felt like the biggest low-life in the world.

I knew in the back of my mind Victoria would probably find out what I initially had came to do sooner or later. Though I really wanted to be the one to tell her. There was nothing I could do now to explain my change of heart to make her believe me.

For years, she hadn't trusted anyone because of what that wicked man had done to her in secret. And now as her former fiancé, she couldn't even do so with the one person she was supposed to feel safe with.

I didn't know how to fix this one either. I didn't know if she truly meant how much she never wanted me to see her again. My heart crushed into a billion pieces with every word she uttered and action she took. I didn't blame her though. I deserved it.

Nothing would be able to mend what I had done to her if I didn't assure her in a way that would show just how much I loved her with every fiber of my being. I didn't want to spend my life without her again. I had felt what that was like and refused to ever go back to that man who was lost with no direction. I had to see her radiant beauty and personality at every millisecond of my day in order to be happy.

I just didn't know how anymore.

As I kept tapping my pen against my desk at work in a steady motion—recovering from the trainwreck I had become and been since she left, I could only stare aimlessly at my typewriter pondering over the terrible choices I had now made.

"Hey Danny?" I suddenly heard a faint female's voice toward me.

I slowly looked up to see the receptionist chick I didn't remember her name, nor did I care. But, the way she was staring at me seemed like she needed to get something off her chest. "Oh hi uh..." I shyly let out.

"Teresa." She nodded, knowing a bad habit that didn't go away. "Look, I know by the looks of it fella ya may be deeply hurting...but I am really sorry. I didn't know she wasn't aware of-" She then tried to apologize.

"It's okay Terri. She had to find out eventually." I interjected, with a short and dry tone.

She simply soon sighed, shrugging her shoulders. "Well hey, maybe if ya really want to talk about it with someone—I'm always available for ya to penny ya thoughts. How about spending a night on the town at a local bar, tonight? Just the two of us? I know how much ya would like that..." She tried to offer, raising her eyebrows up to me with a thought we both knew what it meant.

I couldn't believe this. She was seriously taking advantage on me right now, hoping to get lucky by the end of the night—knowing how vulnerable and out of my mind I was feeling.

God, was I always this bad too?

"Actually, I think I'm gonna pass. I'm sure you're a lovely woman inside and out Tammy...but just not the one for me. I'm sorry." I let her down kindly.

She stared at me closely before grinning and agreed. "Nice to know ya finally passed the loyalty test. Now, what are ya gonna do to show the gal just how bad ya want her too?"

Taking in all her careful words, I was about to jump up and race out the door to take her up on that suggestion. However, just as I stood up and began to leave, a surge of journalists with their big cameras and notepads started rushing past me like they did weeks ago.

"Hey!" I shouted to one of them before he sprinted away. "What's going on?"

"Haven't ya heard old boy? There's just been a report of a house fire on top of Hollywoodland Hills! If one of us doesn't go up there now to get the scoop, all our jobs will be canned!" He explained frantically.

"Will you forget about getting a scoop, fella? Someone can be hurt by now! Who's house is it, anyway?"

"Uh..." He trailed off, looking down to his written address on his hands. Wow. This man's level of disorganization in this kind of biz was more of a journalist than me? I don't think so. "Says here, 1400 Hollywoodland Drive-"

But I didn't need him to finish the rest of his sentence. My whole world paused, my body froze in place, while my mind and heart was starting to race with the worst thoughts I could ever imagine.

"Oh my God. That's Victoria!" I quickly shouted, grabbing my fedora and jacket, sprinting out of the building.

"Hey! Buddy! What about ya camera?!" I could only make out the man telling me.

How would I even give the slightest care about any cameras or story right now, when the love of my life was in danger?

How would I even give the slightest care about any cameras or story right now, when the love of my life was in danger?

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