Baby Steps

Party of One

Jo's POV:

Thursday morning, I nearly flunked my exam. The run-in with Nate was all I could think about, and as I sat through my philosophy exam, every question seemed to remind me of him. I was luckily able to pull myself together towards the end, and I was hoping for a C at best. 

I felt like shit. I was ashamed of myself for getting so rattled and for dropping the ball at the last minute. Years later, Nate still terrified me, somehow possessing the power to derail my entire life in a matter of minutes. Multiple times. 

I even almost forgot that I was seeing Colton later. I felt like I had been living in a fantasy the past few months, but the ghosts of my past came back just in time to drag me back to reality and remind me who I really was. I was weak. I was broken. And I definitely wasn't worthy of Colton.

If I ever told him about what happened to me, I was certain he would run for the hills. No guy wants to deal with a girl with that much trauma, and I couldn't blame Colton if he didn't either. 

None of my friends knew the whole story. I had told my roommates that I had a shitty ex in high school, and I got in a crash before my senior year that stopped me from playing soccer. That was the extent of what they knew, and they certainly didn't know they were connected.

Part of me thought that Emma and Sam would be sympathetic. Sam had told me about a past situation in high school that was pretty similar to mine, so I figured he would understand. But Nikki... I had a feeling if I ever told her, the entire school would know in a matter of seconds. That girl could not keep a secret to save her life. 

After my exam, I returned home and crawled back into bed. That had been my safe haven for the past day and a half. I hadn't eaten since the sandwich Tuesday night. My appetite was nonexistent, and the thought of food made me nauseous. I also hadn't showered - gross, I know. But I had no energy, no strength. Nothing in my life seemed worth doing.

At around 4pm, my phone buzzed. Colton.

Sexy Guy from Class: Hey princess, just finished up practice. Can I swing by in an hour?

I didn't know what to say. I wanted to see him, but I also knew for his sake, I should keep my distance. I didn't want to drag him into my mess.

Jo: I'm actually not feeling great today, raincheck?

I sent the message, my stomach churning. I was anxious he would see through my lie, but I knew it was for the better.

Sexy Guy from Class: no worries, feel better:)

Phew.  Close one.

I grabbed my laptop and turned on The Kardashians. A good comfort show.

After an episode or two, I felt myself start to doze off. I was asleep in a matter of seconds.

***

I woke up to incessant pounding at my door. Groggily, I got up out of bed and opened it. Emma was standing in front of me, holding a large paper bag.

"Hello?" I asked hazily, not yet awake.

Emma cleared her throat before pushing past me, handing me the bag and sitting on my bed. "A certain someone stopped by and dropped this off," she smirked.

I opened the bag, and saw a thermos and a slab of tinfoil. I set the bag on my desk and opened up the gifts. A grilled cheese and tomato soup. 

I saw a small sticky note at the bottom of the bag. I pulled it out.

Feel better, Princess ;) - C

Oh my god. He was too good for me. 

Emma sat grinning, swinging her feet off the side of my bed. "Sooo," she cooed, "what's it say?"