I went for physiotherapy, and work was alright. I couldn't do much because of the tasks in hand, which took most of my day, and later my therapy session. It was good to know I will be able to start gym soon if everything goes well. Who knew using your core was so important? Anyway, it was a good day. I didn't feel any intense emotions like stress or pressure. I need to change my behavior in order to grow emotionally. Why do I seek this need for companionship so badly? I am taking actions and pampering myself, but ever since I have decided to shut down my delusional world, my real world has to bear the burden of finding "the one." I don't want to find anyone except myself, finally enjoying the freedom of singlehood. No stress, no fights, no special treatments, no arguments, no clarification, and no permissions are required. Life is finally free, and I am going to live it. I got 100k views on one of my posts; it reached 104k now, which is really shocking because there was a time I was working on Instagram to grow followers, and now that I just focus on journaling and writing, it started growing, so I tried to manage one reel per day. I lack content, though. I am thinking of starting communication content where they talk about something. I did try making one and shared it with my friends, but I am not sure yet. But I really believe I'll be good at it. I might buy a mic next month if it goes well. What else I spent all my budget on medical expenses, and the rest is saved, so I am going to borrow money from mom after so many years, like I borrowed money in 2017 and then directly in 2019 and now in 2024. I recently gifted her things, and now I feel stupid. I can return them next month, but I don't like the concept of asking for money from anyone, no matter who it is. It feels weird, but I'll return it to her next month. Still, it feels wrong and burdensome somehow. I have this constant fear of losing my job and not being good enough. I am actually considering a job where I get to communicate with people because I enjoy talking, but let's see, at the same time, I used to love my field and look for the job I got today. I am grateful, but my pace disappoints me and my manager both. I miss being confident enough to not take criticism personally. Good night, people. I didn't sleep on time yesterday, but today I'll sleep till 1 a.m. and get up till 8 or 8.30 a.m.
Get some sunlight and start working until 9 a.m.; do my physio and meditate as well.
