19 & 20th Feb
How can life be so disappointing?
I can't do the bare minimum of life, and on top of that, I am not good at anything from work to being fit. I so want to die and stop living all together. Obviously, I won't choose that path because I don't want to restart my life.
I miss being hopeful and happy.
I am going to see Bappa tomorrow and ask for some enlightenment. Stop seeking happiness and instead seek more contentment and compassion.
I stopped everything since my backache
Work, gym, volunteering. My backache has stopped for a few days, and I am not doing my physio. Either way, I fear the pain so much. I feel this need to run away from everything possible in life.
I don't want to exist anymore at all; I just want to go as far away from everyone as possible. My doctor recommended that I go to a native place or somewhere calm to unwind, but I am not able to do that either, which makes me feel stuck and suffocating.
