Since the last 1-2 weeks
My back has been better, and I'm not stressed at all.
My emotions aren't amped at all.
It's quite balanced.
I spoke to my ex for an hour yesterday and felt good knowing I missed him as a friend. Now maybe a little more
Anyway, recently I started meeting my school friend. We had the best of times and tons of crazy drama for a year and a half. And he is going to move somewhere else in a few days.
It was weird knowing someone with whom we were in contact, like talking once a year or two and checking up even if things were quite shady in between us.
We figured it out because I believe in forgiveness. We are now better friends than ever.
Today was a good day.
Remembering yesterday's memory was incredible.
Receiving flowers and an extremely thoughtful gift
Which felt so special and amazing from another friend.
April has been kind.
Thank you, God.
For sparing me
And giving me so much hope
Confidence and courage
To get things done
Like resting without guilt
This has been the most helpful of all.
Finally, I am applying.
What I have been thinking for so long to do
Life is on hold.
Just rest; there is no pressure to do anything.
I will not get out of bed, and no one can make me do otherwise.
I'll do as I please and only if I can or want to.
Nothing can make me bothered.
I mean, somethings do sometimes.
But I am learning to get over it all.
Detachment and the Bhagavad Gita help a lot.
I am blessed to have such an influence on me.
This birthday, I received the best gift of all.
Peaceful time with myself and still going strong
Missing him today in Siddhi Vinayak
Remembering the things we did together
I spoke to him recently.
Hearing anything related to him
It worries me because it's never good news.
Whether he is physically ill or emotionally
Which will always bother me.
I know I can't protect him.
But I would love to do that.
His problems aren't mine anymore.
Making peace with that is the toughest.
No contact and no news
Actually, it helps a lot.
I almost stopped missing.
No, I just stopped being bothered.
Or maybe the impact was less.
It's like, once you learn
You know more.
And more
Then you start thinking in the same direction.
And your subconscious mind
Keep releasing the stimulus in every situation possible.
What if he was here? He would do this.
Would he like this food?
And this recent obsession of mine
With Marathi, because now I
I know it, and I have no one to share my Marathi jokes with.
I see these interesting reels, but no one can relate to them.
The same goes for cuisine.
Like, I had misal pav today.
And modak, but
Why is it all bouncing around like a wave of emotions?
How can I be hit again?
I just started sliding down this slope of intense feelings for him.
How can I roll back?
And while typing this, I realized I need not worry about this either.
This shall pass too.
