BAD DECISIONS

Kiss me?

Joining Heeseung in his car, I close the door behind me as he starts the engine. Looking away from him, I cast my vision on the world outside as I tried my best to ignore the awkward atmosphere. Neither of us said a word until it was time for me to give him directions.

"Take the left from the intersection." I say, gesturing to where I was referring to. I notice him glance over at me in my peripheral vision.

Jaw clenched, white knuckles gripping the steering wheel as he asks "So this friend- Noah?" I let his words fall flat. I don't answer him nor do I ask him to complete his sentence.

He's quiet at that, nodding when I give him further directions. "It's the third house in the second street."

At that, he nods again. Pulling into the driveway, he lets out "You have a home. You shouldn't be staying here especially with some guy?"

"What I should or shouldn't be doing isn't your business." I respond with as the vehicle comes to a stop.

"Thank you." I mumble under my breath, ready to leave but to my surprise, he holds me back. Taking my wrist in his hand, he sighs.

I snap my head over in his direction, looking at him with the same expression he had on his face- confusion. He looks at me- dead in the eyes for a few seconds as my chest rises and falls in rhythm matching his.

Without hesitation, he places his index finger under my chin, tilting my head up as he pulls me in closer until his face is mere inches way from mine then he takes one last look between my lips and eyes before closing the distance between us.

His lips on mine are soft and gentle. I couldn't understand why but with every touch, my skin tingles. His right hand presses lightly against my softness of my cheek as his left hand roams my hair. And desperately, I kiss him back.

His lips trailing gently to the surface of my neck- leaving kisses as I lose all my self control- getting lost in his touch as he pushes his seatbelt back, leaning into me as he adjusts my seat lower until he's hovering over me directly. Heeseung grips at my sweater, pulling it over my head as he satisfies his curiosity.

So caught up in the moment, I fail to stop myself from letting out three simple words under my breath. At that, Heeseung freezes against my lips as his body grows numb in my hold.

"I love you"

His eyes pain to open as he backs up slowly, resting his forehead against mine. His figure still hovering over mine as he gulps harshly as the words replays over in his head like a broken cassette.

When I open my eyes, I heave a defeated sigh as I push him away. I can't seem to form words at the mention of my feelings. Heeseung's face is in a state of shock as I panic beside him.

It's only then I realize that the wet material cladding to my chest was gone. He pulls off his jacket, handing me the material to cover myself and so I did immediately.

Gripping the handle, I open the door bolting out of it. Closing the door behind me, I'm ready to make a run for it as Heeseung trails behind me.

Grabbing my wrist for a second time, he stops me from running as he asks "What did you say?" I avoid looking at him, I turn on my heels as he runs a hand through his hair. "It can't be? Right? You can't lov-"

His words got stuck in his throat and if possible, his furrowed brows irritate me just as much as the look on his face as I retort "Yes! Heeseung! I love you. I hate myself for loving you. I hate myself for falling for you."

I break down, slumping to my knees as Heeseung looks at me, at this point, I couldn't stop the tears from falling as I say lowly "That's why it hurt so much to see the way Kazuha treated you- I hate you for allowing her to treat you like that. I hate you for being you."

At that reality sinks in and I pull away from him completely, my feet hits the cold ground beneath me as I turn on my heels running inside making sure to slam the door behind me.

With my heart in my hand, I collapse just against the closed door. Trembling with confusion as I mutter under my breath "What did I do? What have I done?"

I hear him pulling out of the driveway and immediately, I close my eyes, wincing as the scene replays over and over in my head.

•

The next morning comes around quickly and as soon as my eyes are opened, the scene from last night replays in my head.

"Y/n? Get up!" I hear Noah call out to me and immediately, I let my feet hit the floorboards as the events of the night before slowly registers.

Rushing to open the door, Noah greets me with breakfast as I say "I didn't hear you come in last night"

The man takes a bite of the meal he prepared as he lets out "That's because I came in this morning." He pauses for a second, swallowing whatever he had in his mouth as he continues "I thought I came in before you- your car isn't out front."

My eyes are wide at that as I quickly respond with "Yeah, uh- I got a ride with a classmate. She took me bowling straight after classes. We were supposed to head back to campus to get my car but I figured that it was too late."

Noah nods, reaching into his pocket, he pulls out my keys along with my phone. Placing it on the bed beside me as he lets out "That's funny! Your boy group manager came over- he left this."

My eyes are wide as he stares at me, waiting for an answer. I heave another defeated sigh as I throw my weight back into my pillow.

"I told him- I told him that I love him. I don't know what got into me- we were kissing and I blurted it out-"

"You were kissing?! You kissed him?! Y/n?! What did I say about those boys?!" He scolds. I couldn't be angry with him, he only wanted the best for me.

"I know, I know you told me to stay away from them but what was I supposed to do? Jake and Jungwon showed up at university yesterday. We were just hanging and everything was okay but when Heeseung gave me a ride-"

"Why were you even close to him? Why was Heeseung giving you a ride when you were there to hang with the others?! It's not making any sense, Y/n." Noah frets, I groan into the palm of my hands, understanding him completely as I say "I don't know but if it helps, they're leaving for tour today so they'll be gone for a couple of months."

Noah nods as I continue "Maybe I can use this time to distance myself from him." My voice is low and Noah is quick to correct as he nods in favor "At them."

Pursing my lips at that, I grab a fork, taking a bite out of the eggs infront of me as he pats my back.

"I just don't want you to get hurt again. You deserve so much better."