new romantics - taylor swift and travis kelce

coffee with blake

-Taylors pov-

Paparazzi flash me in the eyes with their cameras as I make my way from the car and into the café where I'm meeting Blake. I called her last night, desperate for someone to talk to about Travis. She has seen me through different relationships before and I know I can count on her for whatever it might be. It's good to know I have friends like that, friends I can depend on for anything at any moment in time. I would do the same for her.

"Taylor," Blake says as she sees me and rushes over to hug me. there are a few other people at the café having lunch as they hide away from the bad weather outside. "it's good to see you" I beam at my best friend.

I'm conflicted about yesterday, about Travis, and if someone is a good sounding board it's Blake. She was the one who convinced me that the first date was a good idea to begin with, so she is invested.

I order an iced vanilla latte and cranberry and white chocolate scone from the counter before settling at the table. Blake already had her order ready to go.

"I can't wait. How was last night? You didn't call me afterward." I did promise to call her when I left the restaurant, but I was so lost in thoughts that I forgot all about that. all the way home I just stared out the window and kept wrecking my mind about Travis. There are so many reasons why a relationship wouldn't work, why it's a fucking bad idea. But there is something about him that intrigues me. something about him makes me wonder what I will find if I peel back the layers of armor and see the man he is on the inside.

"it was good. he was nice and time flew by. No awkwardness or anything" I'm relieved about how easy it was to talk with Travis, how none of it felt forced in any way. There was always a new topic to slide into, and I lost track of time. I was supposed to be home a bit earlier than I was, I have responsibilities after all, but it was nice just to get lost in the hope of it all for once. It's been a long time since I've felt a connection with someone, and never this intense right off the bat.

"Is he as good-looking in person as in pictures? Because that mine is fine" she fans herself and I can't help but laugh "he is hot, that's for damn sure" I agree with her. Travis is all man and muscle. With his broad shoulders, tall frame, and mustache he doesn't look like the boyish guys I've gone for in the past. There is nothing boyish about how this man looks.

"so what's the problem then? You have chemistry judging by the flow of conversation and he is hot. Let me hear it" Blake has a knowing look and I sigh. "you know what the problem is. My life is complicated, can I really bring someone new into that life? into her life? it's not a decision to take lightly. Our lives have been shaken this year and I don't want to confuse her."

Blake knows all this, have heard all my reasoning as to why this is a horrible idea. I sound like a broken record at this point as I once again go over the same shit. It's all excuses, I know that, but I can't help it.

"don't you deserve to be happy after everything you've been through Taylor? if anyone does it's certainly you" she points out and I hate that I agree with her. Part of me thinks that I shouldn't put my happiness first, because I actually can't, but the selfish little part sparks interest. I want to find my happily ever after, it's something I've always wanted. For a while, I thought I had that with Joe, my ex, but that turned out to blow up in my face in the worst way possible. So should I even attempt to find that kind of love again? Maybe the risks outweigh the gains.

"No, no, no. I see that head of yours spinning. I will have none of that Tay" Blake stops me before I can come up with another list of excuses that she knows is coming.

"then you know what I think. Everything got uprooted this year, our lives got turned on its head and it's all kept in the dark where I want it to stay. Letting someone in is risking everything I'm not sure I'm willing to risk" I tell her honestly. The stakes are high. I've been keeping a secret for years now and bringing someone that close to me will put the secret at risk.

"she would want you to be happy you know. Maybe the risks aren't as high as you make them out to be. Look at Ryan and me, we are doing fine and have been forever. Every day we grow stronger. Sure there are tough things but all in all the risk we took was more than worth it. and with time you learn to deal with the bad sides, the sides you wish you could protect but aren't always able to." She says.

If anyone is relationship goals, it's Blake and her husband Ryan. Together they have four amazing kids and live close to New York on a farm-style property. They make it look easy and effortless. Sometimes I find myself in awe of how they make their work fit around what they want for their family. There are compromises of course, but they have found a good balance, and her kids are out of the media for the most part. Blake has always been a vocal advocate for the rights of the children of celebrities. The kids don't choose their parents and don't deserve to have a camera thrust into their faces just because their parents are famous.

The thing is though that our situations are different in some ways. Because there is a risk to my life because of stalkers taking things too far. And me opening up about my secret, if that was discovered, I would put the risks I face on someone else as well. I don't want that, I want to keep this a secret, it's the only way I know to keep her safe.

"maybe she would but I just... it feels wrong, but also so right at the same time. part of me feels like a kid again getting all these butterflies even thinking about Travis, but then there is the adult side that fucks it all up with responsible thoughts. I wish I could have both you know?" I want to explore things with Travis but also keep my secret. and if it got down to it, I know what I would have to choose, there is no question. I've worked too hard to keep things under wrap to let a man spill my secrets now.

"give him a shot Tay. Meet up with him again and see where it goes. I think you owe it to yourself to give it a try. It's okay to be scared, but that's just an excuse to keep away from the hard shit. This hard shit though, that's worth a shot" she takes a sip of her coffee that just got delivered and I take one of mine too. it's the perfect mix of strong coffee and vanilla, just the way I like it.

She is right, I know she is. Meeting up with him again is what I want to do, so I am not canceling on him tonight. I'm going to let him into my apartment, after thoroughly tidying away any sign of my secret to keep that under wraps for the moment. Giving Travis a shot doesn't mean I'm going to go out and spill everything off the bat. It's going to take some more trust for me to think about that. it's risky having him over to my place, but I'm saying yes before I overthink and back out. I'm not a chicken, I'm doing this.