new romantics - taylor swift and travis kelce

so long london - part 1

-Taylors Pov-

I don't want to be back here, it's too soon. But would I ever be ready? Are you ever truly ready to face the place of your demons? I'm not. But I don't have a choice. Beyonce did me a solid by coming to my premiere, and I want to return the favor. That was before I knew where it was, but still, I won't cancel.

Last time I was here I was packing up the townhouse we spent years in together, where Thea took her first steps and first came home from the hospital. It's a miracle the girl doesn't have a British accent. It's probably more like mine since we spend so much time together and travel a lot. If she had gone to school here, she would totally sound British.

The city of London passes us by as we drive to the hotel. It's a beautiful city, that's true, but for me, it's tainted with memories. Not all the memories are bad, some are good. like walking in Camden market during the summer season and exploring Highgate where he grew up. But then there are the tainted ones, the ones that paint gray over the good memories. The memories of alcohol, harsh words, and all the other shit that went down. All the tears cried, and bruises covered up.

"don't panic Taylor. it's going to be okay" Blake says in the back of the car, and I take a deep breath. I can't break down, especially in front of Thea. She doesn't need to see this, it's probably hard enough for her to be back here. or maybe not? I don't know where her head is. When I told her we were going to London she got quiet, timid, not like my little girl usually is. She told me she wanted to go to KC, to Travis, not to see Daddy. But her mood got a little better when I told her that Blake was coming and promised that she wouldn't see Daddy.

It shouldn't be like this. A little girl shouldn't dread meeting her dad or running into him. But she does. I wish I could take the pain away, the memories that are painted dark, but I'm stuck.

We get to the hotel and check in. it's so weird to be in a hotel here, it's been a while. I could have stayed with Cara, but with all the memories from her apartment when I hid out there with Joe, I'm better off in a hotel.

A staff member shows us up to the hotel room, where pastries are waiting on the console table along with a bottle of champagne from the hotel. The daily manager tells us how happy they are that we choose to stay with them and all that, and I try to follow along and act polite.

We are left with just the three of us and I need to start getting ready for the premiere. I didn't bring my glam team with me; tree is the only one of my team I brought with us. I can do the glam myself, it's not that hard after all these years. Tree is with me everywhere though; I don't do public appearances without her by my side. She tells me what to do, where to stand, and where to be. I don't know what I would do without her.

"How are you feeling Taylor?" Blake asks me and I don't know. I don't know how I feel about being back here, other than painted blue. there is this sadness hanging over me, the desperate need to flee. I'm not a confrontational type, not really, so I just want to get out of here as soon as possible. Tomorrow evening when we are taking the jet back can't come soon enough.

** The next morning **

I wake up to my phone going off with a series of texts. Last night we stayed up late at the premiere and afterparty, so I'm tired. But I still check my phone, it might be important.

When I see the person texting me, I get a lump in my throat the size of a soccer ball.

Liz: I heard you're in town. How long are you staying? Is Thea with you? we would love to see her before you leave. We miss you both. Joe isn't in town, it's just us. Please find time to come by, we would love to have you over.

I didn't expect to hear from her, but she is Thea's grandmother that I got close to while living here. I got pretty close to Joe's entire family, and it hurt to cut ties with them when I cut ties with Joe. but I couldn't keep them around when I was avoiding their son at all costs. I feel like I owe it to them to take Thea by to see them, they are her family. But I'm scared to run into Joe, I can't handle seeing him. And I don't want to put Thea in that situation.