LA

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-Taylor Pov-

Travis: come to Kansas city after LA. Both of you are welcome.

I've been looking at the text I got a few days ago over and over again. He wants us to come to Kansas City and it gives me butterflies all over my body. I'm just not sure if it's the right thing to do. does this mean he is in this? That he wants me? or is this still him figuring things out for himself? There are no texts after it, the ball is in my court.

"Mommy, look it's a butterfly" Thea beams as she comes over with a picture she drew. "wow, that's so good. good job sweetie" I say automatically, I always praise her when she does something good. She is a creative little girl, and I love to see what she makes.

"Why are you staring at your phone?" she crocks her head to the side like she does when she is thinking hard about something, something that doesn't make sense to her.

"because mommy got a text, she isn't sure what to do with it," I tell her the truth. Not that I'm going to elaborate further, she doesn't need to know about everything, but I don't like to lie to her.

"I can text them back. I'm really good at spelling" She nods her head and I laugh "I know you are sweetheart. But not this time, mommy needs to deal with this on her own" I say. My little girl is doing well in kindergarten and is about to start first grade. She is homeschooled though, for safety reasons and to keep my secret. not to mention that with all the traveling we do there is no way she could attend a regular school, then she would be away from me too much.

Her face drops a little "Is it daddy?" she asks timidly, and it stings. We don't talk about her dad much, not after what he did. Thea doesn't want to talk about him, and I don't want to force it either. "no it's not Daddy" I haven't spoken to him in a while, not after we settled custody. I have primary custody of them because of what went down in the spring, that was my condition to not press charges, I wanted my daughter with me. he has visitation rights if he wants to, but he hasn't in months.

I need to decide on what to do about Travis's offer. It's rude not to respond, but I'm just scared to make a mistake. I don't know if it's the right thing to go there, and especially drag my daughter along with me. I don't want her to get attached to someone who won't stick around, that will only hurt my little girl. However I don't know where Travis stands if I don't talk to him, so it's a catch-22. Do I play it safe, or do I take a leap and hope I don't fall?

"Thea what do you think about visiting a friend of Mommy's once I'm done with shows for a while? Do you want to come?" I ask her and she grins at me. "yes, please yes, let me meet them. I'm going to be such a good girl, pinky promise Mommy."

Taylor: I'm in. We will be there.

It took me a little while to text him back, but I did it. I'm taking a leap and hope I don't crash and burn. And Thea said yes to travel there, not that she knows the full extent as to why I'm even considering going to Kansas City. For now, I'm going to protect her as much as I can from what may or may not develop between Travis and me, I'm not ready for her to know anything about that yet.

Travis: good. I was getting nervous over here.

He responds right away like he was waiting around his phone for me to text him. I don't blame him, I left him on read for a few days, that's about to drive you a little mad if you really care about someone.

Meredith comes over and nuzzles her head against my legs, demanding some scratches while I keep texting with Travis.

Taylor: sorry about that. if I'm being honest, I'm a little nervous.

Travis: don't be nervous, it's going to be fun. And the plus side is that there isn't really paparazzi here so that's a plus.

He is right on that one, the paparazzi is always something I need to worry about. They are seemingly everywhere, even if you don't know they are there. Over the years I've gotten good at spotting them, but when they are far away with their telescope lenses you can't always see them. My slight paranoia has a tendency to see them where they actually aren't too, I'm just so scared for them to see Thea that I tend to go a bit overboard on avoiding them when she is around.

Taylor: you sure? Because you can't always see them. They are crafty like that.

Travis: I haven't seen any here, but I'm not on your level either. However, if they don't know you're here you should be good.

He is famous in the football world, on top of the world actually, but not so much in my celebrity world. Not that it matters other than that I need to be more careful than he does. Not to mention that I need to be careful because of Thea.

"Mommy what's your friend's name? so I can draw them a pretty picture to remember me by" Thea beams and I smile at her. She is such a social little kid, and sometimes I feel guilty for keeping her so sheltered. "his name is Travis."

**

I left Thea at my LA house with her nanny Michelle while I went to the stadium to perform. It's too risky to bring her to a show and stay in the VIP tent, we look too much alike. She Is sad she doesn't get to see me perform live, but I usually tell her that it's often past her bedtime anyway. She knows that we hide her from the world, she likes to call it from the bad guys because that is what the paparazzi are to her, bad people.

I'm in my dressing room before the show getting ready with the HAIM sisters who are opening my shows here. Este, Danielle, and Alana are some of my best friends and have been so since they opened up for my 1989 tour many years ago. I lost friends back in 2016 when my world blew into smoke, but they stuck around through it all.

"I can't believe you're actually going there. That's ballsy of you" Danielle grins and Este elbows her "Hey, it's a good thing. She is getting back out there" she tells her sister. "does Thea know?" Alana says.

They were all surprised when I told them about Travis, and how I have decided to jump on a plane to Kansas City after the shows here. it's not something they expect from me, I'm not usually the impulsive type. I'm more the kind of girl who plans out every step long before they are supposed to happen, call me a control freak if you will.

"Thea knows and drew him a picture" I answer Alana since the others didn't formulate it as a question, more like statements. I tell them about how Thea saw him at my apartment and how that went down. Thankfully she didn't see us kiss and hasn't really asked about him. I'm not ready for her to be involved in that stuff yet, especially since I don't know what it means for the long road.

"wow, you are really putting yourself out there. Good for you girl. I'm happy for you. don't know this dude but if you want to go for it more power to you" Alana grins and I blush. I don't know what I want yet, other than spending more time with him and seeing where that takes me. it might all crash and burn before something has even really begun, who knows? It's new waters for me, I'm not usually this type of girl, but maybe it will pay off this time. maybe putting myself out there is exactly what I need. 

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