Water Under The Bridge • Gracie Abrams

05 constellations

05 constellations

Driving back to the hotel, Katie's words kept playing in my head, making me wonder how the fuck I could talk to Gracie about this stuff. Saying, 'Hey, I'm done trying to kiss you; let's talk about it,' sounds so bad and fucking cringy, what if she shuts me down or, worse, stops talking to me altogether? It's a total mind maze. Maybe I'll just go with, 'Gracie, there's something bugging me, leave my brother and be my girlfriend. Still scary, but less like a bad rom-com script.

Pulling into the hotel lot, Katie's words still stuck in my head like glue. Trying to spill my feelings to Gracie felt like a major challenge. I ditched the whole cringe-worthy idea.

"So, are you going to do it?" Katie asked, turning off the car, breaking the silence.

"I'll try but what if it doesn't work?" I replied, a hint of uncertainty in my gaze, searching for reassurance from Katie.

"Then you'll down a shot of tequila and survive," she grinned, giving my arm a comforting rub.

The idea of rejection was always present, yet it felt contradictory. Despite her saying no cause in her words 'she can't' she didn't pull away when I tried to kiss her. Plus, there's the fact that we literally slept together.

"Okay,"

"She's not at the hotel though, she's caught up in a photoshoot, we're headed to New Jersey. I'll take the rest for a meal, leaving you free to chat with her at the venue."

I let out a sigh, "Thanks, I really hope that I survive this."

•

The ride to New Jersey was not so quiet; Everyone was slip up. Gracie and Mark were cozied up in one, and the rest of us squished into the other – a total mess, obviously.

"Dude, hands off my pants! There are ladies here!" Johnny yelled, shoving Leon onto the couch.

"I sometimes wonder if you two are actually dating," I said with a grin.

Leon placed a hand on my shoulder, "Hate to break it to you, but you and Cara are the only gay folks in the squad."

"Fuck you!" Cara shouted, defiantly putting her headphones on.

"Johnny, I need your help. I think I've got a killer song," Aurora declared, pushing Johnny into the main room of the bus.

Katie shot me this puzzled yet intrigued look, as if my brain suddenly became a riddle she was trying to solve.

"Jackie, the baby's kicking. Come take a nap with me," she pouted, a hint of playful insistence in her voice.

Jack nodded, leaving me with Leon. I wanted to tell him everything that had happened, but how does one even start? He's my brother, and I love him, but this goes beyond brothers. What if I share with him, and he messes up by saying something he shouldn't? I was also seeking an answer on how to talk to Gracie."

"I'm still into Gracie," I blurted out, the words just tumbling out there.

"Tell me something I don't already know," he replied, leaning back on the couch and closing his eyes.

I slapped his arm with frustration and urgency in my voice. "This is serious, you asshole. I need advice, not your usual shit."