Reminiscence

Chapter 30

By the time we reach the end of the walk, it's warmed up nicely. Not enough to make us sweat out of our clothes, but enough so that the breeze is a nice add on. Inhaling gives me clarity, and my sinuses seem relieved to be away from the harsh dry air of the desert plains. Matteo seems to be in a better mood as well, and Brea circles us overhead, dipping and diving in the air.

When lunch time rolls around, we find a nice spot in the sand, clambering over rocks and small shrubs to reach our destination. Something pokes me in the hand and I pull back, looking at my palm. "Hey, you alright?" Matteo pauses by me, looking at my hand. "Yeah I think I'll be fine." I mutter and keep pushing forwards. The sun is seriously bright, and I wish I had a pair of sunglasses, but I don't think I could bring them into this place. Maybe a hat instead, like the ones the women wear as they weave in their stalls or while they carry fruits through the crowd. The bag I see Matteo throw up and over the ridge lands with a heavy sigh right where we decide to sit. "Good idea. Just great. My eyes are definitely applauding my poor planning skills today." Matteo grumbles from beside me and I snicker. "Oh shut up Nesra." he rolls his eyes and punches me in the arm.

Rune opens his bag, and pulls out three neatly assembled sandwiches. He has to lean over to hand them to the two of us, and Matteo ends up handing mine to me because Rune's arms aren't long enough. The paper that holds them shut is beeswax, a good thing to have. I guess I should take back that it's paper. It's not that bad, sitting up here and waiting for Mazuka to return. He's never really left us here, even before our royal downfall. I still hate the thought of traveling.

What puzzled me then and what shall continue to do so now is why. There's no "why did they do this" or "why did they do that", it's simply just why. I just want to understand why everything happens, why good things happen to bad people and vice versa. And why I cannot seem to find my friend in this mess of a world. I had a habit, a long time ago. I used to sit in the grand library of the temple, and flip through millions of volumes, packed tight with knowledge. I would pour through them, craving some form of stimulation, some form of satisfaction to know something that no one else knew. Unfortunately, I regret it now because I've come to witness firsthand the horror that snakes through the streets, the deceit that can smother someone in their sleep.

It kills you, really. The feeling of needing to watch your back constantly, the feeling of being exposed to no one but yourself and then in no time at all, to everyone. Mazuka had left as soon as the demons came, as soon as they snaked through the streets and up towards the palace. One at a time, each temple torn down brick by brick, clawing through our souls and our being. All of us growing weaker and weaker, like the sunlight that went away as they closed in. that sinking feeling that dragged our hope down with it.

We fled, like cowards. Like mortals, and hid in our lamps, our statues, in books and planters. I was alone at that time, and I could hear them. The chilling growls and the sharp sting of their claws on the tile. I prayed at that time, something I'd never thought I'd do. I just wanted it over, and I wanted to be gone. Dead. Away. Anything and anywhere but that place. So when Mazuka left for that trip that found Matteo, Rune and I on the beach, I can't help but think he won't be coming back. That he'll just disappear again, and won't come back until it's convenient for him. Oh well, I made it that time and I think I can do it again.