Kat wakes up in the middle of the night, only to find the first and only girl she's ever made out with in her kitchen. She turns out to be dating her brother Noah and at first Kat tries to keep her distance from her but for some reason she feels inc...
Kat walked down to the living room, wanting to grab her notebook that she left there earlier. She could hear Billie's laughter filling up the room already from far away. When she walked in, Billie layed in Noahs arms. She watched them as an unexpected tightness spread in her chest at the sight of them cuddling.
She tried to suppress the feeling, blaming it on the sudden invasion of a private moment, but when Noah leaned down to kiss Billie, something inside Kat stirred uncomfortably. She stood there for a moment, watching them. Noah's arm was protectively thrown around Billie, pulling her closer while Billie's head rested on Noahs chest.
Kat tried to brush her feelings down, telling herself it was nothing. But as she reached for her notebook on the coffee table, she couldn't help but stealing glances at them. She remembered how, just the other night, Billie had held her in a similar way. It was comforting, and now, seeing Billie with Noah, it made her uncomfortable in a way she couldn't quite understand.
"Oh Hi Kat, didn't know you're here," Noah said casually.
"You wanna join us?" Billie asked sweetly.
Kat hesitated. "Yea, sure, what are you watching?"
"Just the office," Noah replied as the tight feeling in Kats chest came back.
"Oh," Kat replied with a hint of sadness in her voice. Her mind wandering back to the night the two of them were watching the office together in Kats room. "Actually, I just remembered I have something to finish up in my room," she lied, her voice laced with a hint of something she couldn't quite place herself—was it disappointment? Annoyance? She couldn't tell.
As she turned to leave, Billie caught her attention "Everything okay, KitKat?"
Kat paused, forcing a smile over her shoulder. "Yeah, everything's fine. Enjoy the movie." She replied quickly.
Alone in her room the the tightness in her chest didn't disappear. Instead tears filled up her eyes which she quickly bliked away confused. 'what the fuck?' she mumbled. Puzzled why she was so affected by this when she shouldn't be bothered.
Suddenly an odd thought came to Kats mind. She thought back to what her best friend Normani has said the night before. Could it be? No! She reached for her phone, her fingers hesitantly typing out "Am I gay test" in the search bar.
The first question on the quiz she clicked on seemed straightforward enough: "Have you ever been attracted to someone of the same sex?" Her thoughts immediately jumped to Billies body, then her lips and then that longing look she sometimes had in her ocean blue eyes. Memories flooding back to the last night and her dream about Billie. 'Nah' Kat brushed it off. 'it was nothing, I was literally drunk as fuck' "No," she typed out and went to the next question.
2) Have you ever had feelings for a same-gender close friend?
Kat thought about her friends Mani and Camila. Sure, she'd often joke they were hot, but catching feelings? That was a different story. They were her closest friends, but she never thought about them that way, there was no romantic undertone to any of it. With confidence she chose "d) Nope. We're just friends."
3) Have you ever kissed someone or wanted to kiss someone of the same gender?
The night of Billies and her kiss immediately popped into her head. It was an experiment, wasn't it? She stared at the options:
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She hesitated but eventually selected the second last option as it seemed like the only suitable answer.
3) Have you ever gotten "butterflies" around a girl?
"No," Kat selected a bit too quickly, before her mind betrayed her. She thought about all the times Billie took her hand or stared into her soul so deeply that she did get nervous. Okay, maybe she had felt something weird in her stomach but anyone would get nervous if Billie would look at them like that. It's not butterflies, she convinced herself it was just nerves, nothing more.
4) Have you ever felt uncomfortable of the thought/ being in a heterosexual relationship?
This question was harder to answer since Kat has never had a real relationship. Sure she had had a boyfriend but they were never actually close. Every time she got close to someone she suddenly got the ick and pulled away. "It's not discomfort; it's just not right yet," she convinced herself.
Kat went on with the test as she finally got to the results.
"straight but maybe a little bicurious," the screen declared. She stared at the words for a moment, a mix of relief and confusion washing over her. Bicurious? Everyone experiments a bit, right? It doesn't mean anything, Kat reasoned. She shook her head, "Straight. I'm just straight," she muttered to herself as she secretly decided to ignore Billie for a while until these weird feelings surpass. Maybe she should try giving a guy a chance again to distract herself- she thought.
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Denial is a river in Egypt 💅 For anyone who isn't sure either about their sexuality and wants to take the test it's linked above HAHHA
