12:22

twenty-eight

inez

I managed to quietly slip into the hotel room, thankfully Alisha's fallen asleep on her bed.

Dropping my bag slowly on the ground, i lay on the bed staring at the ceiling.

It's moments like these where I question everything, maybe it's my lack of common sense that I'm not aware of what's going on in his head.

Do I know what's going on in mine? No. But I thought that maybe understanding his would somehow do something.

Turns out I know nothing about him, I've never really told him about anything about myself until tonight. Huge mistake. You should never give someone something to hold against you.

I gave him my night. I don't regret it, but it just feels like I got pulled back into reality. One moment I was in a world of jazz, long walks, conversations then back to being isolated with my thoughts in the other.

It's confusing, I've never been able to decipher the way I feel. These have always been complicated emotions, do I actually like him? Or am I getting attached to another person who'll run out on me.

Regardless I don't care, I'll never let myself make that mistake again. It's not worth it.

————

The next day

Today there was a planned tour, we were going to look at a couple places then head to Alcatraz on a boat ride.

The boat ride would accompany a tour guide to Alcatraz and back, I'm looking forward to it.

We're not leaving until about 1 pm, so I still have some time to pick an outfit.

Yes, I woke up a bit earlier than I should've to pick an outfit or I'll end up having a mental breakdown over the fact it didn't look good. Sue me.

I decided on a white tiered skirt and an off-the-shoulder white laced top to pair it with.

"You look so pretty, wow!" Alisha looks up
at me mesmerized.

"Says the literal goddess." I look at her outfit and makeup that compliments her so well. Always in awe of her beauty.

I begin putting on some makeup to match my outfit, maybe a little overboard with the blush but I think it looks cute.

I'll just blend it out a bit.

"Did you call any of the others to see if they're up?" I asked, applying some more lip gloss on my lips. Then I slip about 3 of them into my bag just in case.

"Shit, you're right." Alisha rushes to take her phone off the charger. "I don't even think August has woken up yet. He was blackout drunk last night."

"Drunk? What did you guys do last night?" I laughed slightly, looking at her through the mirror.

"We went to this weird ass club, I don't know the alcohol tasted off so I decided not to drink it. But bro he knocked himself out." She explains, scrolling through her phone.

"What the hell? Is he okay?"

"Yeah, that's why I called you last night. Could not pick him up for my life. But everyone picked up an arm or leg so it ended up working out and we got him to bed." She explains, putting the phone to her ear waiting as the phone rung.

"That's a relief."

They don't end up picking up and she puts her phone down, shaking her head. "No answer, I'm going to go wake them up."

I watch as Alisha leaves the room, shutting the door behind her.

My legs make their way to the windows, pulling the curtains open to see the view outside. I adored sunny afternoons, it's like all the anxiety I have leaves as soon as I see the sun.