Cosmic Stardust - Jegulus

Chapter 21

By five o'clock on Friday, I was exhausted. The professors really weren't joking when they said fifth year would be more intense due to our O.W.L.s at the end of the year. Add being a prefect to that, and being friends with Pandora who was always wanting to do interesting experiments in our free time, I barely got any rest. Not to mention my period decided to grace me with it's presence this morning.

Lucky for me, I was headed to quidditch practice... yay. Although, it's just training drills today, flying laps around the field and doing some strength training, so I don't have to wear my skin tight quidditch uniform. I'm not really looking forward to our first game that's in two weeks, which is against Ravenclaw because that means a whole lot of people watching me in clothes that aren't very good at concealing my figure. Thanks to my dearest mother, my binder is still ripped to shreds, practically incinerated, so there's no hope in saving it. I don't even think Madame Malkins could save it now. My best option is to buy a new one, but I won't get the opportunity until the Christmas holidays, that is if I end up going back to the Potters which probably won't happen.

Now that my parents have managed to grab hold of me again, I'm not sure how easy it will be to escape like I've done once before. All thought of my parents left my mind when I walked round the corner to find both Ravenclaw and Gryffindor quidditch players training amongst my teammates. How lovely. The moment I spotted my brother and James I knew the aspect of a somewhat tranquil mind-numbing training session was out of the window. This was more likely to be a headache-inducing training session. Oh well.

I walked over to them, not even bothered to try and evade them as I knew they'd get me to go over somehow. "Don't you look chipper!" Sirius grinned at me, his hair tied up in a bun that was held together by his wand... I doubted it's integrity once Sirius started flying but oh well. Being in my quidditch jumper and some sweatpants, I really just wanted to be in bed, the cold and wet November weather wasn't helping either. I gave him a grin and flipped him the bird before dropping my broom to the soggy grass. "Right everyone!" Lynn, the Slytherin captain, called out, "there's been a bit of a mix up of who gets to use the field today, so we're just going to have to share." Several people groaned but in the corner of my eye I could see Sirius and James with their arms over each other's shoulder, smirking and wiggling their eyebrows at me. Despite my exhaustion, it was a little tiny bit funny, but I would never give them the satisfaction so I just kept my eyes on Lynn.

We were separated off into groups to do different drills, and thankfully, I wasn't put with my brother or James. I didn't really feel like being pestered right now. Training was alright, but after doing some cardio, reflex training, and flying drills, I was more than happy to make my way back to the castle where I could get clean and go to bed.

Sadly, nothing seems to really be going in my favour today as both James and Sirius caught up with me on my way back, Sirius wrapping his arm over my shoulder as they flanked me on either side. I didn't really want anyone touching me right then, so I hunched my shoulders, making his arm drop down. "What's wrong," Sirius asked as he pouted, looking like a hurt puppy. I just shrugged, "'m just tired," I mumbled and barely had time to blink before I was being yanked into an empty classroom.

"Sirius!" I couldn't help but shout as I tripped over him and into a table. My brother grabbed my shoulder before I could obliterate my ribcage on the edge of the table, yanking me back up to my feet, "sorry!" Once I'd regained my balance, I turned on my heel to face him with a glare, James was just standing by the door that was now closed, looking as though Sirius was treading in dangerous territory. Good. I really am not in the mood to deal with this right now. "What?"

Stepping back, he held his hands up in surrender, "I just wanted to make sure you're alright. We haven't had a chance to talk properly since you got back." My eyes rolled back involuntarily, "I'm just perfect, thanks for asking." Maybe I was a bit too bitter but I just felt really shit. Other than school being tiring, I didn't have my clothes that I felt comfortable in, my binder was gone, more people keep coming up to me calling me 'Maia' now that I'm a prefect and can't just live quietly, and to top it all off, I don't think I'll ever be able to escape my parents again. They literally told me that the only reason I managed to stay away for so long is because they allowed it and were playing some sick taunting game.

"Reggie," Sirius sighed, "I know you're not. Please, I want to be here for you," and I had to hold back a laugh because the immediate thought that came to me was that Sirius wasn't there for me until I ran away too. I didn't say that of course. I can see that he's trying and I don't even have the energy right now to get into that argument. "You wouldn't get it. But thanks," I told him, leaning back onto the table a bit.

This time, James stepped closer, "we still want to help," he tried but I'd had enough. "You can't help!" I stepped toward Sirius but he didn't step away like I thought he might. "I only managed to get away because mother and father thought it was funny to let me experience a nice life before taking me back. They won't let me go again. You're sixteen so you don't have to go home. I do. And by the time I'm sixteen, I'll probably be married off to Barty and have gotten the dark mark or something. Even if you did want to help, I saw you when they came to pick me up, you can't even go near them without freezing up." Sirius opened his mouth to talk but I turned to James, "and you. I'm very grateful for your hospitality, but you don't know me or what my life is like. You might know Sirius, but we aren't the same, our experiences aren't the same. You have no idea what it's like, you have such a wonderful family, and I'm happy for you, but I don't need you to be my saviour."

The pair of them just stared at me as I huffed, catching my breath. "I don't need your sympathy. You can't help me." I felt better after getting that all out there, but I also felt like I might just collapse in exhaustion and have a crying fit, something I didn't want either of them to see. Quickly, I left them in the classroom as I made my way to my dorm. The further I got from that room the more I started to feel stupid. In the last year both of them have only tried to help and make my life good and I just... shouted at them for it? What I said felt true at the time, and still did in some ways, but after calming down a bit I was starting to realise I'd probably blown that all out of proportion. They'd just caught me at a bad time.

The urge to cry only became stronger so I quickened my pace. Once I reached the common room, I hurried through it, luckily no one tried to stop me to talk. I made it to my dorm and was met with Millie who peeked around the curtains of her bed to see who it was. I knew I looked upset despite my efforts to look fine because she immediately asked me what happened, but I just shook my head while grabbing some pyjamas. I shut myself in the bathroom for a while, eventually taking a warm shower before putting on my pyjamas and getting into bed. It may have only been seven o'clock, but I just wanted to sleep. For a long time.

------------------------------------

sorry :)

In my defence, he's just a tired hormonal teenager and sometimes emotions are very hard ok so don't be too angry at me for putting this in ^^3

LAV YOOU <3

Have a good day/night!!