I love you, Alara! My love for you knows no bounds-I would sacrifice everything for you!!
To
Fuck you Alara! I don't ever want to see your face... You have lost me forever...
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As I reached home, I rushed up to my diary, needing to confide in it. My diary had to know that I kissed him. I fucking kissed him... my Rehan.
Can I call him my Rehan? He is beautiful—his hair, his eyes, his lips—I could kiss him all day long. He is just beautiful.
If he thinks I'm his Tara for an unknown reason, I would love him as my moon, shining for me in my darkest moments, enlightening me.
I open my diary and pour out my heart:
My last breath...
In my last breath, yours would be the name on my lips.
I wish yours would be the lips on my lips.
You would be the one for whom my heart would beat for the last time, whom I would like to see for the very last time.
In my last 7 minutes of life, remembering the time when I was eager to make eye contact,
to the time I didn't make one...
Your eyes filled me with hope of your love in me.
Never thought you would be the one I would be cherishing. Cherishing you, cherishing the moments spent with you.
God, I wish I could always hear your 'I love you.
' No goodbye, no last 'I love you,'
My ashes screaming to hug you...
I continue writing, now addressing him directly in a letter meant only for my diary's pages:
"Dear Rehan,
The moment I saw you at the airport, I felt something in my heart. I felt your warmth.
When I saw that smile of yours, I melted at how beautiful you are.
But the position you were in broke all my thoughts, yet deep inside, I wanted to kiss you and make you mine forever.
I asked you to meet me, which felt like a date to me, while you may have thought it was just a simple meetup.
When I hugged you on the shore, my heart was beating at a pace like never before.
I was dreaming inside—dreaming of crying in your arms, of sharing what your Alara has been through. Your lips made me feel that you were here, that I was safe, but I still feel afraid... I do..."
