Mafia's Love

20

“You should enter,” Jungkook advised.

“She wouldn't appreciate my presence.” Namjoon rejected the idea.

“Yes, she wouldn't if she were awake. However, considering she is currently asleep, I have consulted with the doctor; she won't be waking up anytime soon. Why don't you go inside and check up on her? Perhaps if there are any complications, we'll become aware.” Jungkook reasoned.

“Complications? What do you mean by that?” Namjoon's shock was evident.

“I was being satirical,” Jungkook clarified, mentally chastising himself for choosing the wrong words at the wrong time.

“This isn't the appropriate time for your platonic theories. However, what you said does make sense. I should check up on her.”

Namjoon reported, fabricating a lie to support Jungkook's theories. He desperately wanted to rush inside and embrace you in his arms. However, his lack of courage prevented him from entering.

“What if she suddenly wakes up?” Namjoon panicked.

“She won't, trust me!” Jungkook assured, pushing him inside and closing the door behind him. “Don't shout or bang the door; she'll wake up.”

He didn't actually lock the door, knowing Namjoon wouldn't bother checking it either, considering his distressed state. Gulping, Namjoon slowly proceeded, speaking in a low voice. “Y/N, are you asleep?”

Hearing no response, he spoke a bit louder. “Are you truly asleep?” Slapping his mouth, he cursed himself. “Are you an idiot? Do you wish to get caught?”

Sitting beside your resting figure, he noticed your hand; his fingers trembled. “Should I just hold it? What if she wakes up, and I panic? What if her initial reaction upon waking is to slap me upon finding me holding her hand?” Every possible reaction played in his mind.

“Forget it, it's better if I don't hold her hand. It won't wake her up, and I'll be safe. I don't mind being slapped by her. I low key deserve it. But, I need this moment to see her. How long has it been since I've taken the time to glance at her?”

The last time he remembered was the day you consummated your marriage, after which he chose to abandon you.

“Why am I such a heartless guy? She was right; falling in love with me was her biggest mistake ever.” Gently swiping the strand of hair that disturbed your eyes, he grinned. “Wow, you're so pretty.” Quickly covering his mouth, he awaited a reaction.

“Why do I have to be so loud?” Returning to staring at your face again, he sighed in relief that he didn't risk you waking up. “I detest smoking and that foul smell. And the reason is all you.” Reminiscing about the past, he recalled those days in university when he was an avid smoker. No one could stop him, not even you, or so he thought.

Lost in his thoughts, Namjoon found himself reminiscing about the moments you had shared together, both the good and the bad. He recalled the joy you had experienced during the early days of your relationship, as well as the pain and heartache that had followed. He acknowledged his role in causing you pain, recognizing that his actions had contributed to your suffering. Despite his desire to make amends, he couldn't shake the fear of rejection, knowing that he had hurt you deeply and that forgiveness might not come easily.

As Namjoon continued to wrestle with his emotions, he found himself longing for a sense of closure, a chance to make amends and seek forgiveness for his past mistakes. He yearned for the opportunity to express his remorse and to prove to you that he had changed, that he was no longer the same person who had hurt you in the past. With each passing moment, he felt the weight of his guilt lifting, replaced by a glimmer of hope for redemption.