Fighting it

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(Regressed Nick)

Location: LA

Matt=Dada
Chris=Papa

Nick's POV:
I just woke up and I turn and look at the clock to see that it is 10:30am. I just lay in bed for a minute. I feel really tired. After about another 15 minutes passes, I get up and then get myself ready for the day.

I feel kind of off. But, I can't quite tell. Like I just feel irritated, except no one has talked, nor done anything to me today. I don't want to take out on my brothers either. I want to go and talk to them about it, so maybe they can help, but I just don't know how.

Anyways, I walk down to the kitchen and see my brothers. "Hey Nick." "Good morning Nick." Both of my brothers say. "Good morning guys." I say as I open the pantry. I get what I'm going to get from the pantry and then I start to make my breakfast.

Matt and Chris are having a conversation of their own while I make my breakfast. "Hey did you all eat yet?" I ask. "Yeah, but thanks." Chris says. "Okay, no problem." I reply before resuming my task.

 I finish making my breakfast and then I sit down and start eating. I pull out my phone and start scrolling on social media while eating. After I'm done eating, I then put my dishes in the sink and then walk back upstairs.

"You good Nick?" I hear Chris ask as I'm walking to the stairs. "Yeah." I state not looking back at him. "Okay." Is the last thing I hear Chris say. I feel really bad because I'm not mad at them, I just feel upset. I don't know if it's because I might slip.

This has happened before when I was about to slip. I don't know, but I just want to be alone right now. I grab my stuffie and blanket and then get in bed. I start scrolling on my phone again.

Chris' POV:
"Yo Matt did Nick seem off to you?" I ask. "Yeah he did. I just didn't want to say anything and make him upset." Matt replied. "He did look upset." I say. "Maybe he is slipping again." Matt says.

"I mean I could understand why. This has happened before, but I still want to check on him, you know?" I say. "I get it. Let's just wait until around lunch and then go from there." Matt says. "Okay." I reply.

Time Skip:

Nick's POV:
I open my eyes again and then I realized that I fell asleep again. I pick my phone up and look at the time. It's 1:00pm now. I slept for a while. My head does feel a little fuzzy though. I know it's probably me slipping, but I want to be big right now.

I get up and go downstairs to see what we are going to eat for lunch. "Oh hey Nick." Matt says from the couch. I just wave. I feel like that was rude, but I just don't wanna talk right now. But then if I don't talk, then they aren't going to know what I want for lunch.

I don't like this circumstance. Chris then walks up from his room. "Hey Matt, hey Nick. What do you guys want for lunch?" Chris asks. I want to tell him, but I don't want to talk. I internally whine. "Um... maybe McDonalds or Burger King?" Matt suggests.

I don't want either of those options. I feel like such a big baby! What no! Nick don't think like that! Ugh... "Nick? What do you want?" Chris asks me. A quiet whine escapes my lips. I then see Matt and Chris give each other a knowing look.

"Um... I- uh I... I want Taco Bell." I say quietly. "Okay, but um Nick can you come here please; Chris you can come too." Matt said as he patted the seat next to him. Chris and I walked over there and I sat in between them.

"Okay, well Nick... we have been worried about you." Matt says. "For what?" I question. "Nick it is kind of obvious that you are trying to slip, but you are also fighting it. I could tell from the way you were acting this morning." Matt says.

"Guys I'm fine." I state plainly. "Nick every time you fight it, you act distant and you don't like to speak." Chris said. I just sat there in shock on well my brothers know me. "Guys, seriously... I am okay. I'm good." I state.

"Nick I don't want to seem like I'm pushing you or over-stepping your boundaries, but I genuinely care for you. I can tell that you are not okay." Chris said. "Guys, I'M GOOD." I say in a more annoyed tone.

"You sure Nick?" Matt asks. "GUYS I SAID THAT I AM FINE! I AM OKAY!" I stand up and shout. I feel my cheeks heat up and my eyes fill with tears. My brothers just sit there. I feel really bad for yelling at them, especially when I know that they were only trying to help. At that moment I feel my head go completely fuzzy and I just break down in tears.

Matt's POV:
I knew it. I knew he was fighting it. I know Nick may fight when he is slipping and he is working on that. I know he didn't mean to hurt mine or Chris' feelings. I get up quickly and sit on the floor next to him. I can immediately tell from his body language, that he is fully in headspace.

I pull him into my lap and Chris comes and sits next to us. "Shhh. You're okay bubba. Dada is right here." I soothe. Nick continues to sob into my chest. "Hey bubba? Do you want a baba?" Chris asks Nick. "Es p-p'ease Papa." Nick cries.

I rub his back and whisper sweet things into his ear, but nothing seems to be calming him down. I adjust him in my lap and I put his ear where my heart is and then I let him listen to my heartbeat. After about five minutes, he starts to calm down.

Once he is fully calm, I then start speaking again. "See baby? You're okay." I say. "I s-sowwy Dada fo thow fit." Nick says. "I forgive you and I know that you were just stressed and everything became to much for you." I say.

Chris comes back Nick's bottle. "Do you want Dada or Papa to feed you?" I ask him. "I wan Papa 'eed me p'ease." Nick says. Chris picks Nick up and then sits on the couch and feeds him while I order our lunch.


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