𝘍𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘓𝘰𝘷𝘦 | Charles Leclerc

Chapter 20

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Song for this chapter: Haley's comet by Billie Eilish
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Guilt is a totally useless emotion. It never makes anyone feel better, nor does it change the situation your in at the time of feeling it. So when I awoke the next morning you could imagine exactly how I was feeling. I was positioned comfortably on my front at the edge of the bed with nothing but a sheet covering the majority of my back. And the presence of someone beside me was strong.

I remembered everything.

We wasn't drunk when it happened. We was stone cold sober. So the emotions we had both felt at the time was indefinitely real and that's what scared me the most. A few kisses here and there hadn't ultimately ruined our friendship in Bahrain, but sex in Miami would've.

It's always scary when you get attached to someone. You spend time with that person getting to know them inside and out, you find yourself knowing silly facts about them like what sauce they have with certain foods or the way they style their hair in the morning. You discover their flaws, talents and ambitions and find yourself rooting for them in life. Then one day you'll start seeing them differently. And all it takes is a small touch. And ur in love.

I had that with Charles I had all of that.

Sex isn't ever just sex. It's intimate. It's you at your most vulnerable with someone. I had no doubt this was going to change our friendship forever. If you could even call it that anymore.

When I turned my head to the opposite side of my pillow that's where I saw him. He slept so peacefully, his bare chest rising and falling rhythmically with each breath. His face was relaxed, free of the tension that often clouded him especially after a race for example. I almost wanted to reach out and run my hand over his cheek. The look of innocence. But he wasn't so innocent was he. If I was going to lie to myself I'd be saying the sex was shit and that in that moment I felt nothing towards Charles.

But instead I was layed there wanting his body against mine again.

I needed air. A slight release from the cloud hovering over me. So I gently slid from the mattress trying my hardest not to wake him. He stirred slightly and my heart stopped for a second but he didn't wake up. The last thing I needed at that moment was those green beacons of light looking at me. Absolutely not. I threw on a dressing robe wrapping it tightly around my waist and walked quietly towards the bathroom door.

When I stepped inside I instantly ran the cold tap lingering my hand underneath until I was certain it could freeze my face off. I splashed my eyes a few times before turning off the tap and rubbing my face dry with a towel. I still felt groggy but the cloud had started to break apart above me and that was good enough for me.

I turned off the light sighing heavily to myself as I wandered back into the room.

"Hey.." Charles was sat upright in bed rubbing his eyes. He nearly scared me half to death. Even with bed head he looked majestic. God I loved to hate him.

"I didn't realise you were awake" He added with a yawn.

I positioned the right side of my body against a large ceiling beam that separated the bedroom from the lounge "Yeah sorry..I didn't mean to wake you"

He smiled softly, his gaze still half-lidded with sleep "it's okay" he murmured "I needed to wake up anyway I've got a meeting later" He stretched lazily. I'm sorry but was he even aware of his surroundings? He was naked. In my bed. And I'm stood in front of him with barely any clothes on. What more did he want?