Falling | BxB

-35- What Could've Been

The next few weeks went by like a whirlwind for Miles. He stayed in his room barely sleeping, barely eating, barely doing anything. He spent hours upon hours flicking through the scrapbook tears dropping onto the pictures making them damp.

He couldn't even go downstairs anymore, Liquorice being there reminded him too much of what he'd lost, of the sweet boy he'd called his boyfriend, who he didn't even get to say goodbye too. They didn't share a last moment, no parting words or sweet gestures. He was just gone like that.

With a click of the fingers, all that remained was a body. Nothing more. The redhead would never smile again, and Miles felt like he'd never smile again too. He'd relapsed badly. Worse than he'd done for a while. Twice he'd had to go in for stitches, one more time and he was told he'd end up in the mental hospital too. Maybe even the same place Benny died.

He imagined dying there too, how poetic it would be. How he could spend his final moments where Benny spent his, under the same roof they would die and be reunited once more amongst the stardust and fairy lights. Able to live a life they should've had that was stolen from them.

"Y-yeah" Benny mumbled yawning softly "I- I love you Miles"

"I love you too Benny, forever" Miles replied kissing his forehead again.

"Forever" Benny repeated shutting his eyes slowly

Miles wiped the tears from his eyes hurriedly trying to compose himself. He looked at himself in the mirror lazily, he was just a shell of his former self. Nothing was left now. Just a dull, emotionless shell.

He tightened his black tie and straightened his black blazer. He looked silently at the blue flower tucked into his top pocket, he touched it gingerly staring at its reflection in the mirror tears welling up again.

Looking at the floor he spotted a small bottle discarded there, leaning down to pick it up he then dropped the bouquet of flowers in horror, they hit the ground scattering blue petals around as Miles stared down.

Benny lay motionless on the dirty tiles, he was wearing a short sleeved t-shirt meaning his arms were fully exposed. Fresh, deep, gory cuts lined them a pool of blood beginning to form beneath the small boy. The bottle the door had collided with was a bottle of sleeping pills. A few of the white pellets were even scattered on the floor around Benny's palm.

He moved his hand away from the flower running them through his short brown hair instead. He needed to remain calm at the funeral. For Benny he needed to be strong.

Moving down the stairs sluggishly Miles joined Jennifer outside their house. A black car soon drove up to them sombrely. A coffin was rested in the back of it making Miles shudder tears threatening to fall.

Jennifer squeezed his hand as they sat in the back of the black car not saying a word. The car drove at a steady pace towards the church. Miles stole occasional glances back at the coffin imagining Benny's poor body lying in there decaying.

The boys soft eyes tucked behind those glasses were so enticing.

Almost as if he was reading Miles thoughts the boy stuttered out "Y-y-you d-don't remember me, d-do you?"

Miles shook his head in response "No I don't, what's your name?" He inquired looking the red head up and down trying his best to remember.

A look of apprehension crossed the boys features as he looked at the floor. This was getting strange now.

"Seriously where do I know you from? I recognise you but I can't think" Miles insisted taking a seat beside the boy Lulu settling down at his feet seemingly accepting the fact they weren't gonna be leaving any time soon.

The boys beautiful brown orb eyes connected with Miles's ocean blue ones for a second before shifting away hastily.

Stepping out of the car Miles and Jennifer followed the coffin sombrely into the church, it was being carried by 4 men with sullen faces masking their emotions subtlety.

The pair sat at the front beside Cassandra and Alex. All of them were wearing black with small blue decorations. Miles had requested that, it reminded him of the flowers he'd bought Benny.

The vicar stepped forward speaking. Miles wasn't focused on that though, he was instead watching the screen behind the vicar. The vicars words were drowned out by those silent pictures. Whatever drivel he was saying was unimportant and unpersonalised. Those pictures spoke a thousand more words than any cleric could.

They showed Benny happy, the light in his eyes. His glasses reflecting off the camera light. His red hair curly and perfected like it always was. The bruises in some of the photos made Miles blood boil knowing what had set Benny off. That visit from his dad.

"I'm here to see Benny. Where is he?" Miles answered calmly keeping his composure despite wanting to do nothing more than beat the living daylights out of this disgusting man.

"He's not free right now" His Dad replied dismissively. He was about to slam the door in Miles face when Miles answered him.

"I know what you're doing to him" He stated stonily folding his arms and eyeing Benny's dad up. A look of alarm flashed through the man's face the words seemingly sobering him up instantly.

"So Benny is coming out with me right now, or I call the cops" Miles told him firmly. Grunting in pure anger Benny's dad retreated inside, coming back a moment later and shoving Benny out the door, the boy stumbled out barely keeping his footing on the muddy path.

Miles felt tears descending his face. He didn't bother wiping them away, he allowed them to fall as the pictures continued to shuffle displaying Benny as he got older, as his hair began to grow out, as his face began to take shape into the Benny that Miles fell in love with.

The Benny that was stolen from him so unfairly.

One particular moment kept replaying over and over again in his head. That stupid kiss with Kai. It had caused a chain reaction parallel to no other. It had set the line of dominoes toppling and killed Benny Parker. Miles would never love again, he couldn't. Not ever.

The boy who had his heart was in the coffin sat at the front of that very church. It was soon to be six feet under the ground.

The final picture came up on the screen, the one he'd taken at the hospital, the very last photo of Benny ever.

Even just for a moment, the redhead was happy. So happy to see his cat, to see Miles. To have them both. Now he was gone.

Miles slowly walked over to the coffin as somber music played and the small group of people made their way out. Miles leaned onto the shut lid crying softly onto the rough wood.

"I-I'll see you soon Benny okay? I love you" Miles choked out. He glanced back at the coffin one last time before walking slowly out of the church into the cold midday air.

"A-are you sure y-y-you want this, w-want me?" He questioned looking doubtful.

"I'm sure as anything Benny. I love you. You're so special to me" Miles assured him with a warm smile taking his hand and squeezing it from across the table.

Benny smiled shyly back his face heating up at Miles words "T-thank you, I- I love you too" he whispered back gazing up at Miles gratefully.

The End