☠︎︎ 21. Poetic ☠︎︎

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— my whole life I've been waiting

centuries spending

not knowing one day you'll be here

making me feel the way I feel —


The drawing in front of him was haunting. A huge crowd of people, most of them with their hands raised up in the air and their mouths opened clearly screaming or chanting something, looking at the gallows, watching a pirate being hung. Watching Kim being hung. Kim's mouth was slightly ajar and his head was falling on the right side. His clothes, old and tattered. And right under the gallows was a boy held by two soldiers, crying, unable to get to Kim in time... Chay. That boy was Chay.

And, as if this wasn't a lot already, right next to a drawing was the Ruby Red. It was right there, glistening under the artificial light as if it was patiently waiting for them to find it. Underneath was written: Ruby found on the gallows after the hanging of Phantom of a Pirate.

"That's..." Kim whispered behind Chay.

"The way you die and the thing we have been looking for," Chay finished Kim's thoughts and turned to look at Kim. "Which means that this isn't how you are dying because I'm not letting you anywhere near the gallows... ever!"

"It doesn't look like you were able to stop it," Kim put his hand on the glass protecting the drawing and the Ruby Red and breathed out sadly, "you were crying."

"They killed you right in front of my eyes—of course, I was," Chay cupped Kim's cheek, "but this time it will be different. I'll do everything for it to not happen. Right now, our past is also our future; and even though we can't change our past we can always change our future."

"This past and future thing is too complicated," Kim sighed, looking back at the drawing of their past but also of their future. He had no idea what to feel. This was supposed to be how he died or was supposed to die, but now when they knew that this was supposed to happen, maybe this wasn't going to be at all the way he would leave this world. He was dead but also he wasn't. He was supposed to die but also he already did die. The mess inside of his mind was causing a headache. And then, there was Chay. Somehow, seeing Chay crying like that, unable to get to Kim in time... it hurt. It hurt when Kim imagined the pain Chay felt or was going to feel one day. He didn't want that. He didn't want to die so young. He didn't want Chay to see it. He wanted to die old. In his sleep. With Chay in his arms.

Kim, he really wanted to spend his whole life with Chay.

He loved Chay.

"Kim? Kim, are you okay?"

Kim looked back at Chay, smiling softly, "yeah, I am. I just finally realized something."

"What?" Chay grinned teasingly. "That you love me?"

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