something missing..(G!p X Girl)

4. I wasn't enough?

They were in the middle of their next therapy session when becky excused herself for a moment, and freen felt a little of the tension drain out of her once her wife was out of the room.

She opened her tight fist, flexing her fingers; they felt cramped from the strain, and the back of her neck ached.

Sol turned toward her, and freen met her gaze with a sigh.
she had promised to fix them, to help them try to find their way back to a more solid relationship.

"Do you honestly believe your marriage can be saved, freen?"
Sol asked, in the same calm, even tone she had used during the rest of their session.

freen might have the best poker face in town...it had saved her life countless times before....but she knew sol could see the doubt and resignation in her eyes.

She dropped her gaze as she twisted her fingers together.

"No." Just admitting it tightened her stomach into knots. 

"Then there's no point in coming anymore." 

freen looked up, her eyes wide.

"I can only help those who want to be helped...You sound resigned, freen.... And becky definitely fucked up, there's no doubt about that, but are you going to hang everything on one stupid mistake?"

"It's not just a stupid mistake, she almost slept with that bitch!"
freen protested, and her eyes pricked. Saying it still hurt, every time. The magnitude of her wife betrayal was unimaginable, unfathomable. 

"But she didn't." 

freen flared a little. "That's what she says. Who the fuck knows what's true anymore?"

"Because when you come in here, there are no more lies,"
Sol said, emphasizing every word.

freen felt a slight shiver slide down her spine as sol held her gaze.

"And I believe becky. Just as I believe you freen... And maybe I can never understand exactly how you feel right now, but I can guess... You feel like you are the victim and you are, but you have to be fair to becky too.
she is also a victim, and I know how you might bitch and say she brought it all upon herself, and damn right she did, but you can't erase all the good she's done all these years just because she fucked up once.... and before you forget, Becky so young and the gap age between you both playing big part, you both need to understand each other...Choose to stay with her for all the good she has done in the past years you've been together, and don't throw in the towel just because of that one mistake."

"I'm trying, but I don't know how." freen heard the door hinge creak as becky rejoined them.

"I thought I wanted this, I thought counseling and just time would help, would make me forget, but every single time I look at her, I can't... I can't forget... I just can't fucking forget."

She looked up and the pain on becky face pierced her heart, made her throat suddenly thick with tears.

She loved her. So damn fucking much and becky nearly threw it all away.