For Real This Time *sequel to Playing Pretend

Ω Chapter 36

I walked into the house later than I thought. Usually Matt has some kind of food ready for us. Even if we fight like cats and dogs he still makes me food. I walked up to our room and I heard some music playing, so I know he's here. I walked in on him just sitting on his computer going through twitter. 

"Hey." I said tossing my bag to the bed and walked to the bathroom. 

"Can we talk?" he asked walking in. I was standing in front of the mirror and he stood behind so I could see him in the mirror. 

"What is there to say?" I shrugged. He grabbed my shoulder and turned me around to face him. We glared at each other. His grip is tight so I can't move even if I wanted.

"I flirted with a girl today," he said. I snickered and roughly pulled my arm away. I walked out and started heading downstairs again, "gonna leave?" he asked rudely. 

"Ha sure why not." I answered. I wasn't going to, I was just going to to get food. 

"For real this time?" he asked annoyed just following me around. I turned around to look at him. 

"Why are you the mad one? I should be mad." I snapped and walked off. I stood in front of the table and just looked at him. 

"You should be the mad one!" he yelled sarcastically. Here we go again.

"Yes!" I yelled back at him.

"Serena," he started pacing back and forth with his hands in his hair, "you killed our baby!" he yelled at me. I was speechless when he said that. He's never said anything about it since it happened. 

"Don't say it like that." I said softer and looked away from him.

"What? Making you sound like the bad person that you are?!" he got in my face some more about it. When I think about it our relationship has changed since I've gotten pregnant. I put my head down and as much as I didn't want to cry I couldn't help it, "You!- No. What? Are you crying?" 

"What do you think?!" I yelled at him still not looking at him. I don't think I can look at him after what he told me. I cried harder as I thought about how I'm the reason we're like this. I felt him stand behind me and hug me. 

"You don't really cry in the middle of a fight..." he said confused. He started to rock us back and forth. I wanted to leave because he's right. When we fight I'm the one throwing more fire into the pit, but not on this one, "you need to talk to me." he lead me somewhere. I still didn't bother opening my eyes. I was a wreck, and I'm sure Matt is more confused than ever. 

After I had the abortion I didn't cry, react I guess. I just went on with my life. I know it's a big controversy in the world, but if any human knows their basic science than they would know I basically got rid of a of a cell, not even a fetus yet. But now, now is different. I didn't talk to Matthew, and now we're like this. Because of me. 

"You don't think it effected me too?" I looked away from him, "sitting there in the waiting room, knowing that I was going to do something that I knew would hurt you."