In My Mind's Eye

Chapter Nineteen

Alright. I haven’t been able to upload because I am horribly behind in school! ACK! I shouldn’t be on here right now. I will write quickly and go to sleep and such. School is almost over… But then I have an oh-so-lovely summer reading project. Three books! Horrid.

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My skin crawled at the sound of his voice. It sounded all too familiar even though I hadn't heard it in years. The realization of what I was doing finally set in. I was terrified. This man killed a King and Queen. He was more than just dangerous. He was lethal. He could kill me easily if he wanted to. My breathing picked up as my chest tightened in sheer horror. I could feel myself hyperventilating, but I couldn't control it. My head spun around uselessly as I jumped to my feet, getting a headrush and feeling lightheaded. I fought for control over myself. I wouldn't defeat myself. It would be stupid that after all the training I would faint and lose to Saadya. He would kill me and Kadan would be stuck in jail for life. I wouldn't let it end that easily. I stumbled into the bathroom and locked the door, collapsing onto the floor, holding my head and trying to slow my breathing. The voice echoed in my head. "I've been watching you..." I whimpered, ashamed of how weak I was.

I couldn't feel my parent's presence in here and it scared me. I was alone. Kit didn't know where I was. My parents weren't with me. Kadan was locked up. And a cold-blood murderer was in my house. Or not. I wasn't sure.

As my mind cleared I struggled to get back up, grasping at anything to help me pull myself up. "Need a hand?" the now amused voice asked, sounding close by. I felt a warm hand grab mine, yanking me up roughly. I cried out in terror and surprise. The voice laughed as I fell into a hard chest. Arms wrapped around me.

“You know, Addi, I’m not planning on killing you,” Saadya mused, his voice flooding into my head. I squirmed pathetically in his arms. He continued, ignoring me. “I think you could be the queen with me. Doesn’t that sound fun? No need for more people to die, after all. It’d be a waste to kill you. Such beauty. And determination. It’s really quite admirable.”

I paused, feeling confused and afraid. I was ready for a fight. Not for him to babble on about how “admirable” I was. “What in hell makes you think I would be the queen with you?” I sneered, trying to glare up at him.

I squished my head back to his chest, laughing. “As I said, Addilynn, I’ve been watching you. You’ve been changing. You started out by dating that boy. Remember? He gave away who you were and your precious Kadan was arrested. He’s rotting away in prison, and he won’t ever make it out alive.”

My throat tightened in guilt and anger at myself. I doomed Kadan to stay in such a horrible place. It was my fault. I couldn’t save him. Everyone knew it, even me. He was condemned into this hell for… well, forever. And it was all because of my silly desire to go to a high school. Was there even a point to it? No. All it did was result in Kadan being caught and for Kit and I to be on the run.

“Ah, yes. And Kit,” he suddenly remembered. “You’ve been lying to him. Leaving him to search for trouble. You’ve been reckless and stupid. He knows where you’ve been going, and he is so hurt by it. You’re tearing him apart, Addilynn.”

I winced as he used my real name. The one my parents gave me. Addilynn was a slap in the face. It was a reminder of the past and my parents. They would have been disappointed in me and how out of control I was. They were, as I had felt only a short while ago. I was failing everyone that cared about me.

“No amount of training will right what you’re doing: abandoning everyone who cares about you. Quit while you’re ahead, Addi; before they hunt you down the way you’ve been trying to hunt me down. They’ll come for you eventually, looking for revenge because of how much you hurt them, except maybe Kadan. He’ll never be free. If you be my Queen, though, I’ll keep you safe.” He whispered the sentence into my ear as if it was a secret, his closeness making me tremble.

His voice sounded safe then. They would come for me. Kit could turn me in in exchange for his freedom, and even if he couldn’t, he still would turn me in if he was caught. My mom and dad could strangle my spirit until I collapsed onto the floor, lifeless. I could see all of this unfold before my eyes. Would I be able to fight them off? No, I wouldn’t. How could I?

“Don’t you see Addilynn? You don’t have much of a choice…”