The Publicist

Hidden Gift

***this is ending in maybe three more chapters guys. I didn't realize how long this book was, granted some chapters are notes.

And it's no point in keeping you waiting for Jazz's decision. So you'll find out soon!

Jazmine POV-

I stared at the white baby grand piano that sat in the living room where we stayed.

Everyone was gone. I hadn't played in years. But it was the one thing in my life that gave me meaning and happiness, yet I quit it all because I didn't have people clapping in the audience for me.

I stopped the thing that made me feel alive because of others. No more. I was going to make a commitment to doing more of the things I loved.

I thought about what Nana Efya said yesterday. I pulled out my journal and decided to put the words I had written to a melody.

I played some warm-up chords. Then began to play a melody I heard in my head.

It was like i never stopped. This place was familiar. I felt so alive. It was like a jolt of electricity running through me as my hands fluidly played the keys.
I started to sing the words I wrote in my journal.

My eyes ain't used to these rays
I'm feeling exposed, but I hide no more
I can't hide
As the sun shines on all of my glory
My flaws don't look so bad at all
What was I so afraid of?

Every part of me is a vision of a portrait
Of Mona, of Mona Lisa
Every part of me is beautiful
And I finally see I'm a work of art
A masterpiece

Who is this I've tried so long find?
Filling my heads with lies that I'm not good enough
Then I heard something in my ear
Tell me I'm perfect, now that I know the truth
Time to show and prove

[Chorus)
Every part of me is a vision of a portrait
Of Mona, of Mona Lisa
Every part of me is beautiful
And I finally see I'm a work of art
A masterpiece

I felt a hand on my shoulder. I stopped playing and singing like I was doing something wrong.

"No. Keep playing." Trey sat next to me.

"I was just fooling around." I closed the piano.

"That didn't sound like fooling around to me." He opened it back up. "Sounded like a hidden gift. You wrote that?"

"It's not a song really. Just these thoughts I had after talking to Nana Efya last night." I avoided looking at him.

"I'm going to go back to my room now." I got up.

Trey grabbed my hand.

"I would love for you to play at my concert next month."

"Trey I don't play. I'm your publicist, not your pianist."

"No you're not my pianist. I got Ken for that. But you got a piano and a song and I would love for you to close my show."

"I never performed before like as an adult. Especially in front of the crowd you're going to have. It's going to be like 20,000 people there."

"Everybody had a first time this will be yours."

"Can I think about it?"

"Nope. You're closing the show. That's final. It's not up for debate. You got a month to get it perfect." He tapped me on my shoulder and went upstairs to his room.

I kinda wish he didn't hear me. I've never performed, performed like on a major stage before besides recitals.

What if I fail?

"But Jazz what if you fly?" I looked around to see who said that. No one was around.

I realized it was my inner voice cheering me on, despite being in an empty room. And it was then that I realized, that inner voice was all I ever needed.

It was there all along but I allowed my insecurities, fears, hurts, disappointments and need for approval from other people drown it out.

Then I realized why I had become a publicist.

Honestly I only became a publicist because I people told me I couldn't make it as a singer and pianist. I didn't have that star quality that Lauren had, everyone said including my parents.

So I abandoned the dream. And settled for being a publicist, because at least I still got a chance to be around the thing I loved most---music.

"Why continue to settle Jazz?" I asked myself mentally. No I wasn't Lauren, but I was Jazmine.

And no I may not look like a star to everybody else, but the only approval I needed was mine and God's. And God gave me his stamp of approval when he blessed me with this gift.

Why didn't i realize that before?

Nana Efya was right. I was the light that I had been looking for. Trey had given me a chance, and I was going to take that time to shine and use gift God gave me. He gave it to me to use, not abandon.

I took a deep breath. Put my fingers to the keys and continued to play.

August POV-

"She come back next month after Trey concert." I told T as we sat backstage waiting for my time to perform. I fidgeted with my fingers nervously.

T didn't say anything. He just listened.

"David told me he's throwing a surprise engagement for Amber around that time and that's gone be my first time seeing her in almost six months." I sighed.

"I cried. I begged. I pleaded. I made a fool out of myself. I prayed. Now all I can do is wait."

"Are you prepared if she says she no?" T asked me.

"I mean imma have to be. You can't force nobody to love you or want to be with you. Then that's not love. That's desperation. And not saying I'm not willing to be desperate just, you got to know when to let go. And I messed up. So.... I gotta live with the consequences." I sighed, stroking my mustache.

"I didn't value her the way I should have at the beginning. It took me to get sick to really see what she meant.
I'll regret for the rest of my life."
I put my head in my hands.

"I wanna cry right now but I don't have no tears left."

There was a knock on the door. It was D telling us it was time.

I got up.

"Whatever happens, let it make you a better man the next time around."

I shook my head I understood and we went off to do the show.