My One And Only ~FRERARD~ (boyxboy)

Chapter 44 ~ I'm sorry...

**Gerard's POV**
It's been over a week since Frank's seizure on our way to school. I've been worried about him. I ask him when we meet up every morning if he took his medicine and every time he gets more and more annoyed with me. He hasn't even said anything for two whole days. It's like he's gone mute.

I sat on my bedroom floor, picking at random strings on Mikey's stolen bass. He still has no idea that I have it and I think it's funny. But, on the bright side, he still has another one to practice on. I don't know why I took it. I'm not even interested in bass. And from what I've seen from Frank, guitar is way cooler.

I let my mind drift to him. I wonder how he's doing. He seems to have been ignoring me. I've texted him, but he's never replied. I know he's not dead or anything. We walk to and from school together. But he won't let me kiss him, let alone touch him in any way, he won't talk to me, and he just won't accept attention from me, along with doing his best to not pay attention to me himself. I really am worried about him. I thought about going over to his house to talk to him, and it took a lot of self reasoning to get the courage up.

I stood up and grabbed my jacket, put on my shoes, and put Mikey's bass under my bed before leaving. I crossed the street and made my way up the walkway to his front door, knocking three times. I was greeted by Linda's smile and her hugging me.

"He's upstairs," she told me before letting me inside and shutting the door.

I made my way up the stairs to Frank's bedroom and knocked on the door a couple times. He didn't say anything so I waited for a bit before opening the door. I walked in on something I didn't ever want to see.

•••TRIGGER WARNING•••

There were bloodied paper towels and alcohol wipes strewn across the floor. I saw Frank, tears quickly running out of his eyes while he firmly held a piece of cloth to his left wrist.

I walked in, closing the door and finding my way to the attatched bathroom. I found some gauze and some anti-bacterial soap. I put them next to the sink and walked back out into the bedroom. I walked over and helped Frank up from the floor, not saying a word as I lead him into the bathroom. I turned the faucet on the sink and picked up his wrist, putting it under the water.

He winced. "That's too hot," he told me, his voice gravelly.

I turned it to the left slightly, making the water a little cooler for him. "Is that okay?"

He nodded and I examined the cuts on his wrist. A few were deep, and would thus make him lose more blood than he had intended, but most of them seemed to be okay. I washed the cuts out until the bleeding slowed. I dried off the skin and placed a few tissues over the deeper cuts before rolling the gauze around his forearm.

•••END OF TRIGGER•••

Frank looked up at me with wide, sad eyes as his lower lip began to quiver. "I'm sorry," he told me. He souded so choked up, he even sniffed and wiped his nose, which showed me an unwanted amount of snot as he wiped it on his jeans.

My inner germaphobe kicked in and I grabbed a tissue out of the colorful box, holding it to his nose firmly. He knew what I was asking and he blew hard. I switched nostrils and he did it again. I folded the tissue in half, making it into a square, and wiped his nose for him before throwing the tissue away and leaving the bathroom.

I lay on the bed and waited for him and he came out of the bathroom after a few minutes. He layed next to me and snuggled into my chest as I turned on my side and wrapped an arm around him. "I'm sorry." He repeated what he said when we were in the bathroom and I stroked his hair.

"You have nothing to be sorry about, sweetheart," I told him, running my fingers through his unwashed hair.

"B-But I relapsed..."

"And that's just something that we'll have to work through. I just want you to remember that if you ever feel like you need to do that to talk to me. Cutting yourself isn't a good way to deal with your problems, Frank. And I want to make sure that you never do that to yourself ever again. I want to make sure that you feel like you're worth not cutting yourself. Because you are worth it. You are loved, and you are worth it." I let a tear escape and roll down my cheek.

"I love you, Gee," Frank mumbled into my chest.

"I love you more, Frankie."