It had been about a week since Ashton and I had ended things, I have been living in Caroline's house with her, I honestly didn't know what to do. I hadn't really left her guest bedroom, she kept coming in asking if I was okay, but I hadn't talked to her since I got here except for when I first got here and explained why I was here balling my eyes out. I hadn't checked my phone either. I heard a soft knock on the door.
"Y/n? It's Caroline. Luke is here, he wants to talk to you," she said softly through the door.
"Well I don't want to talk to him, just leave me alone," I said, I wasn't facing her, I was turned to the window, my body curled under the blanket. I heard her sigh then go back downstairs. Shortly after I felt a hand on my shoulder, it was Luke.
"Please, can we talk," he said, I didn't reply I just kept staring out the window. "Come on, please y/n. Caroline said you haven't left this bed in over a week. Talk to me, tell me what happened," his voice was soft and gentle. A tear slid down my cheek, I let it. "Y/n, you've become distant, a stranger, cold" he paused, "please say something". I heard the crack of hurt in his voice.
"He wanted me to leave, so I did. Everyone got what they wanted," I said quietly, as more tears slid down my face.
I felt Luke scoop me into his lap, hold me close, I sobbed into his shirt, I clung onto his shirt with my hands, as if he could pull me out of my misery. I curled into a ball, pressing my cold body against his warm one. He rubbed my back as he cooed trying to calm me down.
"Go shower, get dressed, then we are going out," Luke said, I looked up at him confused. Then I got myself together and did as he said.
When I went downstairs after I had showered Luke and Caroline were sitting at the table talking over coffee, I saw how Luke was looking at her, it was kinda weird. Like he liked her or something, I shook off the thought. Luke stood up and walked over to me.
"Ready?" He asked. I nodded, even though I really wasn't ready, I don't think I could ever be.
Luke took me to the park, surprise, surprise. Whenever his parents or mine would fight we would come to the park together, it was always our escape. "Do you remember us coming here with Jake as kids?" I nodded "I remember one time, a guy came over and started hitting on you, even though we were like 7, and Jake told him to back off, he didn't. So Jake punched him in the stomach," I giggled a little, smiling. "I knew you would laugh at that story," Luke said looking down at his shoes, kicking a rock.
"How's Brooke?" I asked, this was something I couldn't get off of my mind, I needed to know.
"She's good, upset that you haven't been to see her. But she is good, she went back to her mum. She...She uh... she misses you, everyone misses you," Luke stuttered. I looked down at my shoes.
"Sorry," I sighed, not sure what I was sorry for, I was just sorry.
"I know you need your time, you need your space, I get that. But you need something before we lose you."
"I'm already gone Luke," I said looking up into his deep blue eyes, he searched my face, staring into my eyes.
"Then I guess we have to find you," he sighed. Then Luke and I walked out of the park and got in the car.
"Where are we going?" I half yelled when I realized Luke wasn't taking to Caroline's house.
"Home," Luke said, I winced I didn't belong anywhere, I didn't have a home.
"Luke, take me back to Caroline's!" I said trying to keep myself from screaming at him. He shook his head.
I didn't talk to him for the rest of the ride. Then he pulled into his driveway, he turned off the car. And got out, I followed behind him, I looked at his mum's house, it looked the same as when we were kids. I followed Luke into the house.
"Luke?" I heard mum call, I had called Mrs.Hemmings mum for as long as I can remember.
"Hey! Mommy! I brought someone for you," Luke yelled, I walked around the corner and saw mum standing in the kitchen, I walked over to her. She wrapped me in a hug, I tried to hold in the tears, I tried to fight them off, but the slowly slithered their way out, I sobbed. I wrapped my arms limply around her. She gently rubbed my back.
"What are you doing to yourself?" she whispered.
I thought about this. What was I doing? I walked out on Ashton, that's it. It's over, but I'm forever missing him. I pulled back from the embrace.
"I didn't think it would hurt so bad," I said my voice shaking. Mum nodded, then she turned and continued to cook whatever she had been cooking when we came in, I took a seat at the table, then I grabbed my phone, I turned it on, and noticed my background was still set to a picture of me and Ashton hiking. I felt like I was staring into a sink of blood, it hurt and stung. I couldn't change it though, that would have hurt more, like rubbing salt on a fresh cut. I got on Twitter, like that would help, the first this I saw was a tweet from Ashton.
"I could have tried harder to make you stay, but I wanted you to have it your way"
I felt my heart clench and I bit my lip, a single lonely tear slipped out. I then tweeted,
"But I missed you more then I thought I would"
Simple, but effective, very effective.
I then went onto Instagram, that's when I saw that the media had already found out about me and Ashton breaking up. I guess Ashton had said in a couple interviews that he and I broke up, he had never said why though. Maybe he wasn't so okay after all.
