Warning may cause triggering
Recap:Baby, never cut."
He cleaned up your cuts and you guys cried together.
• the next day •
You feeling a lot better until you got a phone call
_______________________________
Your pov
Your phone started ringing so you picked it up and answered it.
Kill yourself. Just cut a little deeper and die.
* hang up*
That was it. That was the last straw with the hate. You couldn't take it anymore. This was the end. Tears were rolling down your face. You grabbed your phone and sent a goodbye text to Hayes.
You: I love you with my body, heart and soul to death.💖
Hayes: I love you💘
By "death" he didn't know that I had literally just meant it.
I locked my phone and wrote Hayes a little letter .
Dear Hayes,
By the time you're reading this I'll be dead. I'm sorry I couldn't keep our promise. I love you so much I hope you know that. I just couldn't handle the hate any more it was to much for. I'll do your fans a favor and do what they say. Never forget our memories together. Never forget me. I hope you will find another girl who will make you happy just like I did. I love you from the moon and back. It hurt me to say goodbye like this. You will always but my super hero. I love you so much Benjamin Hayes Grier never forget that. ~ Love always y/full/n
You put the letter in an envelope and placed it on the table. You went to your bathroom and grabbed a bottle of pills. You took a hand full of pills and swallowed them. You grabbed your razor and made for deep cuts. You were loosing blood quickly and ended up passing out.
Hayes pov
I was chilling with the boys when y/n texted me out of no where.
You: I love you with my body, heart and soul to death.💖
Hayes: I love you💘
I locked my phone but I had a bad feeling in my guy about y/n.
" hey can one of you take me to y/n's house right now?"
" yeah sure we'll come with you"
We got up and ran to the cars and headed to her house. The front door was unlocked which was odd. I ran inside yelling her name but got no response. I heard water running in her bathroom so I went to go check it out. When I got to her bathroom I felt like I lost my world. Y/n was on the floor with blood surrounding her.
"Somebody call an ambulance!" I screamed.
I shook her trying to wake her up but nothing happened.
" baby girl please don't give up "
I picked her up and took her down stairs hoping the ambulance was there. When I got down stairs the ambulance had just arrived so nash took her from me and brought her to them. They put her on a gurney and left.
" I have to go with her!"
" come on let's go"
I saw jack j take something off the table but I ignored it and went to the car. The whole ride I cried and cried. Cam tried to comfort me but I pushed him away. When we got to the hospital I ran out of the car and went inside.
" what room is y/n in?"
" she's in icu right now you will have to wait in the waiting room"
I nodded and sat down. A few minutes later the boys came in and sat down. I heard foot steps and looked up and saw a doctor.
" who's here for y/n"
All of us stood up but I told the boys to sit down. The doctor had a sad look on his face.
" how is she?"
"Excuse me for the words that I'm about to say. I'm sorry for your loss,"
That's when I lost it. I lost the love of my life, my best friend, My world. The boys also had tears running down their face and engulfed me in a group hug.
" I wanna see her. "
The boys let me go and the doctor took me to her room. There she was lifeless with a cover over her. I went to her and uncovered her face. She looks so beautiful. I held her hand and cried.
"Baby, I thought you made a promise you would never cut."I whispered.
I kissed her lips one last time.
" I love you "
I left and went back to the boys. Nash hugged me and I broke down.
" I can't believe she gone. This can't be real. I have to be dreaming. I lost my world. My soul mate. The love of my life. I can't. Why Nash why. Why her? Why did she have to leave me?! I loved her so much. "
I cried and cried until there were no more tears. Nash sat me down and I buried my face in my hands. Johnson sat next to me and handed me an envelope.
" I believe she wrote this for you"
I took it and opened it.
Dear Hayes,
By the time you're reading this I'll be dead. I'm sorry I couldn't keep our promise. I love you so much I hope you know that. I just couldn't handle the hate any more it was to much for. I'll do your fans a favor and do what they say. Never forget our memories together. Never forget me. I hope you will find another girl who will make you happy just like I did. I love you from the moon and back. It hurt me to say goodbye like this. You will always but my super hero. I love you so much Benjamin Hayes Grier never forget that. ~ Love always y/full/n
I smiled at the letter and hugged Johnson.
" thank you"
" no problem "
I got on Twitter and tweet one of my favorite pictures of me and y/n.
@hayesgrier: @y/t/u I can't believe that you're actually gone. I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you. I'm sorry the hate was to much. I'm sorry for not being there with you. I'm sorry. I wish I was there to stop you from doing this. I understand why you did it I just wish we could have talked about it more. I love you so much y/n. I love you more than air it's self. It hurts a lot to know you won't be by my side anymore but you will alway be in my heart. I still remember the first time we met at digi's meet and greet. It was the best day of my life. I will always love you. You will always and I mean always be my first love. I'm so fucking sorry hate drove you to suicide. I wish I could have done something. I love you so much baby girl fly high. 8.8.14.😭💖👼🏽 #ripy/n #flyhighy/n
I tweeted it and shut my phone off.
The boys hugged me and told me it would be okay. And I believed them because y/n will always be in my heart and no one could ever replace her.
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I cried so hard writing this😭. I hope you enjoyed it.
