Warning may cause triggering
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July 21, 2015 - The Funeral
Today was y/n's funeral. As much as I wanted to cry I couldn't because if y/n was here she would want me to be strong. So i'm gonna be strong. For y/n. I looked in the mirror and fixed my tie. When I was done I headed down stairs so we could leave. We were all ready so we got in the car and headed to the funeral home.
* Funeral home *
We walked in and grabbed an itinerary. We sat down and I looked at the itinerary. On the front was a picture of y/n smiling. At the bottom of the page it said
In loving memory of y/full/name
D/o/b- July 17, 2015
She looks so beautiful. I can't believe she's actually gone. A tear dropped on the paper and I wiped my eyes. On the back was a picture of all of us playing around. I smiled and the funeral started. Shawn got up and sung her favorite song. When he was done her mom got up and started talking.
" hi everyone. Thank you for coming to
y/n's service. As we all know y/n committed because of some personal issues. She was such a loving daughter, friend, and girlfriend. I remember when she came home from the meet and greet after meeting Hayes. She told me it was the best day of her life. It was the first time in a long time that she was really happy. It-it hurts to know I lost my only child. I can't believe s-she's gone. I love you so much y/n "
She went to the casket and kissed her forehead. When her mom was finished her dad spoke. When he was done he asked if anyone wanted to say something. All of the boys stood up including me and went to the mic. The order was Dillon,Nate,Daniel,Will,Nash,Cam,Carter,Shawn,Taylor,Matt,Aaron,Jack J,Jack G,Sammy, and me. When it was my turn I felt like I was gonna break down. Looking at her knowing I'll never see her again.
" hi everyone. Y/n was very special to me. I never knew I could love someone so much like I love her. She meant the world to me. I remember when we went on our first date at the carnival. I wanted to get on the Ferris wheel but she didn't because she was scared. I told her she had nothing to be afraid of being I would be there to protect her and I always will be. But I failed at protecting her. I couldn't protect her from her problems and I hate my self for that. I wish I could hold her in my arms one last time telling her how much I love her and how much she means to me. I will never forget her she was my first love, the love of my life, my best friend and she always will be. I love you so much y/full/n and I know you'll be watching over me. Fly high baby girl. "
Tears were running down my face. I went to her casket and stared at her. Just looking at her made me cry harder. I was completely broken and no one could fix that.
" why y/n? Why did you have to leave me so soon?! Why baby girl? Please come back to me please! You didn't deserve to go! It wasn't your time!" I started to scream out.
Nash and Will picked me up and took me out side to calm down. But the thing is I could calm down. The only person who could calm me was y/ n but she's gone. I have no one now.
" Hayes you need to calm down. Do you think y/n would want want to see you like this?" Will said.
" no"
" okay then stop crying and go back in there and be strong for her. "
I wiped my tears and hugged my brothers.
" thanks"
They nodded and we went back inside. The rest of the service was beautiful. At the end they played a video of y/n's good memories. After the video they closed the casket and put it in a car and went to the grave. Everyone left and followed. At the grave site they buried her and we said our final goodbyes. When it was done we all went home.
3 months later
It's been 3 months since y/n died. 3 months since I fell in depression. 3 months since the funeral. It's been so hard living without her. I miss her so much. I don't think I can spend another day without her. I wrote a letter to all of the guys, my mom,dad, and will. I went to my bathroom and locked my self in. I got some pills from the medicine cabinet and swallowed a hand full. I drunk some water afterwards and slowly began to go unconscious. A few seconds later I blacked out.
* 2 hours later *
Nash pov
I was just getting in from hanging with cam. The house was oddly quiet. My parents were at work, skylynn was at a friends house so Hayes was the only one here. I went to his room to see if he was asleep but he wasn't in his room.
" Hayes!"
I looked around the house but couldn't find him. I went back in his room and heard his sink running in his bathroom. I tried to open the door but it was locked so I busted it down. When I got inside Hayes was laying lifeless on the ground. I quickly grabbed my phone out of my pocket and called 9-1-1. The ambulance came and took him to the hospital. I call my parents and the boys and told them what happened and we met up at the hospital. About an hour later of waiting in the waiting room the doctor came out.
" Benjamin grier?"
My parents and I stood up.
" are you his parents?"
" yes" my mom and dad said.
" I'm sorry for your lost "
I broke down crying. My little brother is dead. He committed suicide. All of us were cry hard. Hayes was family to all of us just like y/n. Now they're both flying high in heaven. When we got home. There were letters for all of us. In my letter he told me how he was depressed and couldn't stand not being with y/n so he took his life to be with her. He loved her so much now he's with her watching over us. Rest in peace little brother.
