I Hate the Way...

Part 75: "Maybe Next Time"

~~~~~

Josie lays in bed, tossing and turning, her mind refusing to give her a moment of rest. Her pillow was starting to grow damp with tears, she wasn't entirely aware she was still crying. No matter how many times she turned, sobbed, squeezed her eyes shut, reached over to the other side of the bed...

She still thought of Hope.

All of the moments when she knew, deep in her core, that Hope felt the same way. Silent glances, stolen kisses, the way she held her just a little tighter when she thought Josie was asleep, the way her lips would linger on hers after each kiss like she never wanted to pull away. The way her voice only ever softened with her, the way she would trace patterns across her bare skin. Every sacrifice she made, every gut wrenching, heartbreaking moment. Josie was so sure it was all out of love.

Josie let out a huff, rolling onto her back and staring up at the ceiling. Her mind drifted back to the night that the realization she was falling in love came crashing down on her, the night she desperately wanted Hope to say those three words to her that would change everything.

That same night, she had dreamed of her mom. At least, she thought it had been a dream. It felt too real to be only a figment of her imagination. Caroline was there, her voice was as clear as Josie remembered as if she was standing right in front of her. She told her to trust her gut, to follow her heart.

Josie let out a bitter scoff, 'My gut must be broken. Because my gut was telling me we were meant to be together...That she loved me too.' Instead of Hope saying those three words, she said she's incapable of love. Josie shook her head, 'How could she say that? After everything we've been through together?'

Her brows furrowed, her own words echoing in her mind. 'Mom says trust your gut, but I think mine's broken...'

She quickly sits up in bed, reaching over to turn on her bedside lamp, opening the drawer of her nightstand to retrieve her song journal and a pen, writing down those words before she paused.

'Cause I could swear that we were meant to be...How are these the words you're telling me?'

Josie sighs, the melody starting to form in her brain. She throws the sheets off her body, giving up on her sleep as she makes her way into the other room, where her keyboard is.

For the rest of the night, she did the only thing she could do. She wrote.

~~~~~

When the early hours of morning hit, before the sun even began to rise, MG arrived at the house after a text from Josie. Before he could even knock, she swung the door open for him to come in.

He was squinting tiredly at her in confusion, "Josie, why are you already up? The wedding isn't for another 8 hours."

She didn't bother answering. Instead, she grabbed his wrist and dragged him inside, "I didn't ever go to sleep," she dragged him through the house and toward the keyboard.

He let himself be nudged down into a chair in the room, still half-asleep. He rubbed his eyes, finally taking in the sight of her. Her hair was a mess, her face was tear stained, and he finally realized what she said about not sleeping, "Wait what? Did something happen?"

Josie sighed, sitting on the bench, shaking her head as she avoided the question, "I just–I stayed up all night writing this."

He glanced around the room, finally noticing a few bags fully packed on the floor, "What's with all the bags? Are you and Hope going on a trip?"

Josie finally paused, giving him a broken look, She shook her head, "I'm going back to Mystic Falls, MG. My flight leaves right after the wedding reception."