All You Need is Love

Eighteen

I woke up with the sun shining on my face, I opened my eyes and they were blurry. My eyelids clearly swollen from all the crying I had done yesterday. I get a feeling of where I am, not quite recognizing it at first.

I'm in Derek's trailer, in his arms. I look at the beautiful man looking back at me. He's smiling and his eyes are sparkling. Our legs are intertwined and I'm buried in his chest as we lay on our sides. I snuggle closer for the extra warmth and he tightens his hold on me.

"Good morning." He says softly to me. I bury deeper in his embrace and he plants sweet kisses on my head.

"How long have you been up?" I ask him, staying curled up in his embrace.

"Maybe ten minutes." He says in the same soft tone. He strokes my hair with his delicate hands and it sends me in a lull. "How'd you sleep?" He asks me.

"Mmmm, very good. I was very cozy." I snuggle deeper into him as I stretch my legs. "Were you watching me sleep?" I question him.

His face softens and he lets out a sigh. "You're adorable when you sleep. I love watching you sleep Meredith. It's like you're safe and unharmed and even more beautiful. You have a certain ora and peacefulness around you. I love it." He leans down and his lips find my cheek.

"I like sleeping with you... Er by my side, snuggling and actually sleeping, just sleeping." I mentally kick myself, crap.

"You're even cuter when you ramble Mer." He laughs at me. I slap him on his shoulder, he annoys me sometimes.

"What do you want to do today?" He asks me.

"Well currently I'd like to stay where we are, I'm very comfortable." He squeezes me tighter and tickles my side and I let out a squeal followed by laughter. He doesn't let up and eventually he's laying over me tickling me as I thrash from it.

He pulls me into a searing kiss and immediately I comply. He lays on his side and eventually I throw my leg over him and climb on top of him straddling him. The trailer is quiet save for the sound of our wet kisses.

I smile as I kiss Derek. His lips make me tingle and I like it. His hands always find my hair and he grabs my face. It's such a turn on. I sit flush up against his body. His hands move from my face to my ass and he grabs it, squeezing it. It makes me laugh into his mouth while his tongue is halfway down my throat.

We've become more hands on, figuratively and literally. Progressively I've let him touch me and I don't mind it, I trust him a lot. He's proven himself to me.

He pulls away from me, gasping for air and I look down at him, my hair is even messier than when I woke up. "What?" He's looking at me with a grin on his face and it's adorable.

"Your eyes are crazy with lust, I love it." He grabs my face again and kisses my lips. "Are you hungry?" He asks as my stomach growls.

"How'd you know?" I ask jokingly. And then he pushes me down so my head is at the foot of the bed and he is on top of me kissing me again.

"Something told me you were." He says sexually. He kisses my stomach just as it gurgles again. "What do you want to eat?" He asks me.

I look up at him, his hair is perfect and his eyes are sparkling at me, his face calm while he smiles. I just look at him, enjoying his beautiful features. And then I picture him naked. I want to be lost in him. I don't know where these urges come from, I trust him. He will protect me and he'll never hurt me. I want to be with him.

"I'm not hungry anymore." I say quietly. He looks down at me puzzled.

"Mer?" He asks me, not understanding.

"I want to do it." I blurt out nervously.

"What?"

"Sex. I want...." I let out a frustrated sigh. "I want to have sex. I need to. I... please." I say looking up at him.

"Meredith..." He gets off of me and sits up, I follow, sorrow filling me. "Meredith this isn't something I want to jump into. I don't want to start something just because you feel like it, this is a big deal and this isn't something you've felt comfortable doing. I can't do this yet. Not until I know you're healed and ready. I can't and I won't." He states firmly.

"Thank you." I say to him softly.

"What?" He looks at me puzzled, poor Derek I'm throwing him so many mixed signals.

"You're right. I'm not ready, regardless if I really want to, I know I shouldn't. Thank you for being logical and looking out for me." I scoot closer to him and lay on top of him, hugging him as best as I can.

"I'll always look out for you Mer." He kisses my forehead tenderly. "Breakfast?"

//

We spent the afternoon sitting by the cliff, watching busy Seattle below us. The ferryboats constantly crossing Elliott Bay.

I tell Derek more about my mother, Ellis Grey and how she was with me. Things were alway difficult with her. We never saw eye to eye. She lived and breathed medicine. And I know deep down that she never wanted me.

Derek explains how glad he is that she did have me and even if we met under such circumstances he wouldn't change it whatsoever. He then asks if I miss my publishing job and I tell him honestly I don't.

"You wanna know why I became a neurosurgeon?" He asks me.

I pick up a twig on the ground and draw zig zags in the dirt. "Why?" I prompt.

"When I was about nine years old, My dad owned a shop. My mom, she had saved up for two years for a watch she gave him for Christmas. Two robbers came in asking him for the watch. He wouldn't budge. Instead they shot him in the head and I say behind the counter holding Amelia's mouth shut so they wouldn't hear her and come for her. I watched my dad die, bleed out even though he was long gone. The men left, I called 911 shortly after and from that day on I was the man of the house." His face dropped drastically, the sadness in his eyes. It breaks my heart seeing him like this.

"Derek, I'm so sorry. I didn't know that was why. I'm so sorry." I rest my hand in his shoulder, my other hand grabbing his, rubbing my thumbs over his knuckles.

"I was so mad for the longest time. I had so much pressure on me to be the man of the house and not disappoint anyone, especially my dad. It was hard. But I got used to it and I'm still upset about it, there's these what ifs of course but I can't look back. I'm just glad to be able to call him my dad. I hope I did by my sisters right and that I did my dad proud." He confesses.

"Oh Derek, I know your dad is proud of you. Stepping up as man of the house is not easy to do at such a young age, it's something a child should never have to go through but you managed and you did good. He's very proud of you and all you've become I know it." I reassure him.

"He would've loved you. If he were alive he would absolutely adore you, take you under the wing and call you a Shepherd already. He would've loved you." Derek insisted.

"I wish he were still around for you Derek, but I know that he's proud of you and that you turned out perfect regardless."

Derek gave me a sad smile and I watched as he moved his body so his head is resting in my lap while I remain sitting up.

"What are you doing?" I ask him. I run my fingers through his dark curls as our eyes lock, piercing blue to hazel blue.

"Looking at my world." He states matter of factly.

"Derek." I gasp. Tears stream down my face. It takes my breath away. I don't know what to say or do.

"...My world."

A/N: this chapter was so short but I love how it ended I will be posting another chapter tonight as well, stay tuned!