All You Need is Love

Twenty

The absolute worst time of the year is holidays. I can't stand them. One because I don't know how to cook a holiday meal and two because it reminds me I have no one.

This year it's a little different, I do have someone. I have Derek. But regardless he'll be with his family I assume so I offered to work on Thanksgiving with Dr. Bailey.

I head down to the pit and a nurse tells me that there's a man they had up in hospess who had been in a coma for quite some time, sixteen years to be exact. He fell off the bed while they were doing dress changes and he hit his head.

Poor guy, he's all alone. No one to care for him. I look at his wound and start my procedures accordingly, cleaning it up. I tell him how sorry I am that he's in this predicament. And then his eyes open. He's looking right at me. I jump back.

"Someone page the on call neuro!" I yell from the man's room. I walk away with his chart to the nurse's station, looking over his chart and how he went into a coma.

"Someone pages neuro?" I hear Derek's voice. I turn around and find him in his navy blue scrubs with a black long sleeve undershirt.

"There's a uh man... he's been in a coma for sixteen years but Derek, he looked at me." I explain to him.

He tilts his head in that little way that tells me he's about to pour or laugh. "He wasn't looking at you." He states.

"Yes he was." I insist.

"C'mon, let's go see." I bring him to Martin, the patient and Derek does his neural consult. I start talking to him, explaining what happened that he ended up where he is right now and Derek's facial expression changes.

"What?" I ask him. He holds out a finger pointing for me to keep moving and I do so.

"Don't stop talking." He tells me, distracted.
I continue moving and talking like Derek asked all the while looking at the patient's eyes, they're following me. "He is looking at you." He sounds astounded as if I was joking or hallucinating. "C'mon we need to run some tests."

Turns out Martin has a very rare bleed in his brain, it's very hard to fix it being that it's in the location of where your memory and speech are. He can die from this surgery but Derek says it's the best chance he has.

I had to contact Martin's family. His wife is remarried and expecting another child, her first son is Martin's. He's already sixteen. I tell her what has happened and she tells me that she can't be here, her and her husband leave but her son has stayed. Jake has his eyes, Martin's eyes. It's sad, it affects me in some way and I don't know how to describe it. It's just very tragic.

I take Martin back for some more testing and he asks me what he should do, have the surgery or not. I tell him that I would want to have the surgery, I'd want to fight. Martin's mood has changed, he's sad, disappointed and vulnerable. Can you imagine living your life for sixteen years in a coma?

After returning Martin to his room I go and find Derek. "Hey." He sighs as he looks at me. He looks tired, very tired.

"Hi." I say too sweetly. He smiles at me and the sparkle in his eye brightens. "Martin is going to have the surgery." I tell him.

"You can scrub in, book an OR?" He asks me. I nod my head and for the first time he shows a public display of affection. He caresses my cheek and brushes my joe out of my face. His lips longer on my forehead and he kisses it tenderly. "I have some paperwork to do. I'll see you in about an hour or so." He nuzzles his nose against mine and then he's gone.

As I'm scrubbing in for Martin's surgery I look up and immediately drop the soap. Derek is doing chest compressions. And then he gives up. My heart drops. No. Tears form in my eyes and I know Derek can feel my presence as he turns around and looks at me. He pulls of his gown and face mask, all he can do is shake his head at me.