*Editing* Sailing The Seas (Once Upon A Time Colin O'Donoghue FanFiction)

August 2nd, 2018, Part Two

I prepared dinner, a nice seafood bake, and waited for Killian to wake from his nap. Once he awoke, I served it to him and the rest of the crew. We sat and ate together, talking quietly amongst ourselves.  

"So, I was thinking that tonight we could go star gazing?" He suggested.

"That sounds wonderful, but I'm so incredibly tired." My voice was sad, I really wanted this.

"That's not a worry at all. Go to bed for a little after dinner. I'll clean up and wake you when it's time. You've done enough today, you could probably use a bit of a nap. I promise I won't keep you up for long." 

"Deal." I finished eating my seafood bake and made my way downstairs. I put on a nightgown that I had been given, and closed my eyes. However, I was restless and couldn't sleep. So, after finally deciding that trying to sleep was pointless, I leapt out of bed and grabbed my diary. I wrote a few pages before dozing off, the diary still spread open on my pillow.

As I slept, I dreamt of all that I had written.

August 3rd, 2018.

I feel like I'm getting through to Hook. We had what one could only describe as a moment today. We were scrubbing dishes and things just fell together. It felt so right and he was so honest with me. He spoke with bravery and I appreciate it. The longer I stay here, the more I fall. I'm falling into feelings and as much as I hope there's something there, I'm not one hundred percent sure. He told me today that he wishes we could happen, but he's not ready. I told him I would wait. He believes that I should go for another crew member, but I don't want anyone else. He makes me feel happy, as odd as that is. I never thought that I could feel this way about this man, he did take me from my hometown after all, but, lo and behold, here I am, practically head over heels for him. However, I'm sometimes doubtful of his feelings. There's been times where we've felt close, like it's possible, but then he pushes me away right after. I don't see why he'd like me anyway. I'm basically the definition of dull. Besides being a part of the royal family, my looks are sub par. My hair is a long, dull brown, and it's always a rat's nest. It never cooperates and has a mind of its own. My eyes are a dull blue, never shining brightly like his. Compared to him, I'm a troll. I wish you could see what he looks like. Then you could understand why I feel this way. 

Bethany.

I later awoke to Killian, standing beside me, his eyes fixated on a book. He was reading intently, and as I studied which book it was, my eyes widened with horror. That was my diary! Who knows what he had read or how long he had been reading for. His eyes move over to me and he catches my eye.

"Bethany, do you really mean what you wrote?" He asks softly.

I hesitate, words not forming in my head. Without the ability to speak, I run up the stairs and dive off the front of the boat. Nothing could be more embarrassing than what just happened. I don't care if someone says this was way too drastic of a response, I felt like it was what needed to be done.

"Beth! Are you insane?" Hook calls before diving in after me. With long strokes, he wades over to me. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me back to the boat. We climb onto the deck thanks to a rope ladder, and I flop onto the surface. 

"I don't want to talk about it." I say firmly.

"Bethany, what you said in this diary, it can't be ignored."

"Why not?" I yell. "It's so embarrassing! It's a child's crush, nothing important. It's not like anything will ever go anywhere."

"Says who, Bethany? Who ever said that?" His voice was raised now, matching mine.

"My brain. It is constantly doubting that anything could ever surface between us." Tears started forming in my eyes, mixing with the salt water.

"Oh, Beth, please don't cry." Hook said, pulling me in for a hug. 

I shivered in his arms, making him hold me tighter.

"Go and get changed, okay? We'll talk after." He said. 

I nodded, and stood up.

After getting changed, I made my way back up to where Hook stood. He was pacing back and forth.

I waved at him before making my way over. Tears stained my cheeks and I could still taste the salt water in my mouth.

"Can we just avoid this conversation forever?" I jokingly suggested.

"That we cannot. Bethany, I need you to listen to me, please."

"What's the point? If you're just going to tell me that it's pointless, I may as well just jump off this boat. Drowning would be better than that embarrassment." I stated.

"Bethany!" He snapped.

"Listening." I gave in and heard him out.

"I want to begin by saying that you're not dull. If anything, I'm dull in comparison to you. You're compassionate, brilliant and creative. You've been nothing but a bundle of surprises and love since you got here. You've embraced me, pirate and all. I have felt comfortable enough to tell you my deepest secrets. That story about Clarissa, the girl who took everything from me, has never been told, other than to you. Nobody knows that except for you. I didn't want to go into this with secrets. I wanted to be honest. 

"Now, I also wanted to say that I never told you I didn't like you. I just told you that I wanted to wait. I wasn't ready for this, I was still too broken to ever love someone fully. I was still hung up on Clarissa and what she did. However, talking to you today helped and I'm finally learning to trust again. I've wanted something with you since I saw you. You were so beautiful, but I never thought you could love someone like me. You only knew of me as the town saw me, if you knew me at all. I took kidnapping you as an opportunity for you to get to know me better. As a person, without all the pillaging and rough parts. I know now that I went about it in the completely wrong way, but I'm happy that things turned out this way."

"Are you saying what I think you're saying, Killian?" My voice was weak.

"Bethany, I'm so grateful to have someone like you in my life. I really care about you, and if you're willing to be patient with me, I'd love to see where this goes."

"Killian, you've been nothing but hospitable and kind to me since you caught me. From the moment we met, you caught my eye. I feel content here, and I feel content with you. What I said before hasn't changed. I'm willing to wait. I'm willing to be patient and help you with whatever you need. I want to try this too."

"Then let's do this, love." He said, placing a kiss on my hand.

Now, I knew I could count 'love' as a term of endearment.