It's Just Ann

Chapter 29 - Masochist Heart

            The most sensible option is clear, the one that I should choose without hesitation, yet it isn't that easy because my heart doesn't want to give up. I should really move on and try to forget Gareth, I should try my utmost best to leave my unrequited love behind, but my heart is stubborn. It still wants to love him, it still longs for him.

For the sake of the production, my own silly, stubborn heart, and for that friendship we created, I should forget about him. If I did, we could be just friends and leave all the awkwardness and heartache behind, but even if my mind knows this is the best, my heart keeps whining and crying to keep fighting, to never give up.

I'm starting to believe hearts are just masochist.

If I really decided to move on and get over Gareth, I could even take Charlie's offer. Finding someone else to like seems like the fastest and most effective way to forget about someone, even if it seems coward and low. Well, at least I wouldn't be just using Charlie, I would be accepting his help, but still, it doesn't make me feel comfortable with the idea to accept his offer to go on a date just to forget about another man. I should try to get rid of these feelings on my own, that's the most honourable thing to do, even if it's the hardest.

So, even if I know what I should do, I am not fully convinced. By Monday I can't even think about it anymore, because I'm covered in work, which is a very welcome distraction. Maybe if I just earnestly focus on my job I won't even realise how my feelings for the actor start to fade away. And maybe I should also tell Cece not to mention Gareth or ask me about him and my feelings for him. If I don't talk about my crush then I'll get used to push it to the back of my mind.

Yes. I should totally tell Cece that Gareth, meaning my unrequited love, is a banned topic.

It seems I summon Cece with my thoughts because I haven't been for five minutes on set when someone tackles me from behind, wrapping me in strong arms, lifting me from the floor, scaring the living days out of me. I scream in a very high pitch in terror and surprise, even crying out some words in Japanese that he, of course, can't understand.

"Cece, put me down!" I beg in English this time.

"How's the best producer doing today?" he asks, finally returning me to the place I belong to: the ground.

"I'm quite okay, despite the fact that my life spam has been reduced to half." I try to glare at my friend but he just squeezes my cheeks and smiles sheepishly.

"I saw you had a great weekend," he mentions next, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. "I even saw a cute boy with you. That's Charlie, isn't him? Ella's friend?" Cece seems to stop to think about something else, so I just wait instead of replying. "Why do I feel they are my friends already?"

I chuckle at that last question. I honestly think that if I introduce Cece to Ella and Charlie they would get along perfectly, fit like puzzle pieces and discover they were best friends even in their past lives.

"When you visit home I'll also invite them so you can finally meet them," I suggest, making Cece smiles radiantly.

He wraps an arm around my shoulders and we start walking towards the shooting. It's a scene with Mare and Jonah, and it seems to be going as usual. No problem at first sight.

"And yeah, he's Charlie, Ella's friend. We hung out on the weekend. He took us to the amusement park. I couldn't talk on Sunday 'cos my throat hurt so much." I try to laugh, remembering all those horrifying rides Charlie and Ella made me go on.

"He's really cute. He's the one that asked you out, isn't he?" Cece asks next and I blush when he says that so naturally, as if he were talking about the weather.